Even when you say things like “No!” they calmly keep going, saying, “You actually like it, don’t you…?” A lot of men are like that, right? Maybe they’ve watched too much porn—it’s disgusting.
Is there any way to get them to stop?
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well.
If you’re trying to be considerate and only hint at it gently, they may not realize how serious you are, which is probably why they react that way.
If you truly don’t want it, I think you should push them away—even get out of bed—and clearly tell them, “It really hurts, so I can’t do this.”
There is a chance the mood will sour, things will end early, and you won’t receive your allowance, but this comes down to deciding what you want to prioritize:
Your physical well-being, or your relationship with this person.
I think you should consider that carefully.
> “Isn’t there any way to get him to stop?”
While you’re still at the dinner stage, you could say something like this when discussing the terms of the adult relationship:
“Gachiman hurts, so could you please be gentler? If it hurts today, I won’t meet you again.”
I think it’s perfectly fine to say something along those lines.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Personally, I feel that men in their 20s who aren’t very popular tend to be rougher. Sorry, I know that’s based on a pretty small sample size…
I’ve never encountered that through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You may just have to keep saying, in a deadpan voice, “That hurts.” If you don’t refuse firmly, they might not get the message.
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“There are a lot of them, right?”—I see questions like that all the time (lol).
How many offers have you received, and how many of those men actually did something that awful? I think I’ve received quite a few offers for my age, but I’ve never met anyone like that.
Maybe there are more clueless younger men in their 40s. The men older than me have all been so kind.
I hope you soon become someone who gets offers from kind gentlemen, too.
Marika
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I’m Fuu, your columnist.
There are always a certain number of unusual people wherever you go. Telling them to change won’t make them change, so it’s best not to get involved with them. In a dating club, it seems your only option is to end things. You’re only hurting yourself by putting up with it—they’re not going to quit.
It’s the same as asking, “Someone keeps posting three questions in a row about aggressive hand play, starting with the one about bad breath. How can I get them to stop?”
Strange people don’t change. Though Fuu is pretty strange too, haha.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If a man is rough with his hands during an adult relationship (intimate), couldn’t you simply choose not to continue seeing him after that?
You want the allowance, but it’s difficult to tell a man who gets rough with you to stop.
For the record, I don’t do that, though…
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Do men like that really exist?
To get him to stop, I think you should seriously lose your temper and say, “I told you to stop!”
Before that, even if it doesn’t actually hurt, I recommend trying, “That hurts!”
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