When the person I’m seeing is slow to respond on LINE (for example, there’s no read receipt or reply even after several days), I start to lose interest in continuing the relationship.
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I’m not talking about casual conversation, but about the minimum necessary communication, such as discussing our next plans. Still, some people are not very responsive.
(I’m not expecting a reply within a few hours—please assume I mean that I’d like a response within a day or two.)
Unless they’re simply busy or bad at keeping in touch, I assume it means I’m a low priority to them. I’m willing to accept that I may not be offering them enough value, but when the other person is slow to respond, I also lose interest, and it often leads me to end the relationship.
Even though responsiveness isn’t everything, I feel it probably has some correlation with how the other person feels. So, to all the male members: do you consider how responsive someone is when deciding whether to continue seeing them?
And to the female members: when your papa (a male supporter) is someone you care about or like, do you make a point of prioritizing his messages and replying as quickly as possible?
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
I think women who are slow to respond are actually an opportunity—in a way, they’re easy.
I assume that women who are slow to reply are that way with everyone, so I don’t take it as a sign that I’m low on their list of priorities.
Other men can’t stand the slow responses and gradually drop out. I simply keep up with her pace, and before I know it, I become a higher priority—without making any effort at all.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
I think the lack of a response probably means they weren’t interested.
I’m not sure what’s considered normal, but I usually send a message within 30 minutes to an hour—often on the train ride home—to thank them for the day.
Even if I didn’t particularly like someone, I still send a thank-you within that time. They treated me to dinner, and they took the time to meet me, so I feel that’s the least I can do.
Also, I don’t message men aggressively. Neither of us would want to get caught, after all.
If I really like someone, I’d like to send a “good morning” and “good night” message, but…
What do the men think?
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I do pay attention to how well someone responds. Since some people don’t like staying in frequent contact, I wouldn’t point it out to them myself.
It’s funny how simply keeping in touch regularly can put a papa (a male supporter) in a good mood. Men are pretty easy to please, lol.
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I’m Kamihikoki, a male member.
A quick response is important for a comfortable relationship, isn’t it? It shows how much priority you’re given, and can also hint at whether she has another papa.
> I’m only talking about the minimum necessary communication, such as discussing the next date, but some people aren’t very responsive.
I think that means your priority with her is quite low.
I don’t mind if it takes a few days to reply to ordinary messages, but when it comes to scheduling, if you’re both high priorities for each other, the reply will usually come as soon as it’s seen—sometimes within a few minutes.
In fact, I think most women today are in a position to at least reply soon after receiving a notification. If they have someone else who takes priority, or need to coordinate schedules, they may check the message without marking it as read and be unable to reply right away. Before you know it, several hours—or half a day—has passed.
This applies to both men and women. Since plans tend to be finalized in order of priority, sometimes you may not get an answer about scheduling until several days later.
> I’m not saying you should expect a reply within a few hours. Think of it more as wanting a response within a day or two.
This is a dating club, after all.
I’d like people to imagine dating someone who, when you message them, either reads it within a few minutes—or even instantly—and who makes you feel reassured even if they don’t reply right away. That’s important for a good relationship.
After all, just when someone is about to reply, a phone call, an errand, or an emergency may come up. They may even think they sent the message when they actually didn’t.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I do pay attention to how quickly she responds. Normally, people reply that same day or early the next day. If they don’t, I assume factors like low priority or a lack of enthusiasm are involved. Especially when someone has just joined, they may receive new offers or find someone they want to continue seeing after meeting me, which can delay their response while they coordinate schedules. There are theoretically people who are just slow at replying, but among young women today, I think that’s pretty rare.
Beyond that, I suppose it depends on how you feel. Are you motivated enough to keep trying until you work your way back up from being low priority?
That said, it’s also true that the girls who end up staying around for a long time usually have good communication from the very beginning. Having to work hard just to make something happen is generally a bad sign, and a bad sign tends to remain a bad sign to the end. Still, if you put in the effort, you may be able to meet a few times. I think it really comes down to whether you want to go after those opportunities.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I do think how quickly someone replies tends to reflect how much of a priority you are to them.
One papa (a male supporter) I know is a bit questionable, but he expects immediate replies from her.
The closer we’ve gotten, the more demanding he’s become, and I get nervous whenever he calls while I’m with another papa.
It’s not just phone calls, either—I feel like I have to reply to his messages immediately too... I do wonder how he can be so possessive of her when he has a wife. But for him, the speed of a response probably equals the depth of his affection. Since it makes things easy to understand, I try to reply as quickly as possible too.
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It’s Me here.
> Do you consider the quality of someone’s responses when deciding whether to continue?
Of course.
If their responses are poor, I quickly move on and look for someone else. There’s a good chance they feel the same way about me.
Also, I can understand why women might lose interest and not feel like replying when they receive overly long, bothersome LINE messages like the ones you sent.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I decide whether to continue seeing someone based on the overall picture, but I do place a fair amount of importance on how diligent she is about staying in touch, rather than simply how quickly she responds.
I think how often someone keeps in contact depends largely on her personality. It’s asking too much to expect someone you’ve only just started seeing to already have enough feelings to become highly responsive.
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