Lying in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. Since I’m married, I’m a big liar whenever I go out on dates（笑） That said, I try not to say things I shouldn’t, and I avoid asking questions that might put the other person in a difficult position. Also, when I absolutely have to lie, I agree with Kazu-san that it’s better to tell a lie that’s obvious enough to be recognized as one. As for lies I’ve encountered at the dating club, there was one person who made up a story and ended up leaving the club. I asked the club to verify the facts, but she had already withdrawn, and I figured she probably wouldn’t contact them about anything that was inconvenient for her... So I gave up, thinking, “Well, that makes sense”（笑） I tell the women I date, “You’re cute today too（笑）” every time. Even if they aren’t exactly stunning, they’re cute in their own way, so I don’t really consider it a lie（笑） Although, she herself thinks she’s beautiful（笑）

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. It’s hard to explain, even to myself... I trust the people I’m close to as human beings, but I don’t really care if what they tell me is a lie. Even if they lie to me, it doesn’t make me trust them any less as a person. Lies meant to spare someone’s feelings, or the lies people tell early in a relationship, are only natural. As long as I can trust someone as a person, I’m fine with them lying or doing whatever else. Put another way, I don’t necessarily believe everything they say, whether it’s true or not.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer too. Regarding the points mentioned in the examples: > Married Wouldn’t you actually prefer not to know? Why is everyone so eager to find out? I’d think having proof that you asked and were told he wasn’t married would put you in a stronger position if something happened. If someone wants to steal another man’s wife, they’d probably be happy to discover they were lied to. So are the people who want to know simply those who don’t want to date someone who’s married? > Has children I don’t think having children changes a woman’s appeal, so I’m not sure why you need to know this either. If she says she can’t travel because she has children, then I can understand wanting to know that in advance. > Real name, address, job, etc. I think sharing this information is dangerous, so it’s probably better not to tell them. If someone keeps asking insistently, I feel that lying may be unavoidable. > Has a boyfriend Whether she does or not shouldn’t matter, so I don’t think there’s any point worrying about it. I don’t really understand what the problem would be if she lied. > Her purpose in doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) I feel like her purpose is irrelevant too. Men who get angry and say, “So you lied about this too?” are much scarier. > Educational background, etc. Is that really important? I’m more puzzled about what exactly these men are looking at when they date women.

I’m Aya, a female member. The thing that bothered me most was finding out that the papa (a male supporter) I trusted deeply—and who had asked me for an exclusive one-on-one relationship—was also seeing another woman regularly. I couldn’t help wondering about things like STDs… More than sad, I felt disappointed. I guess “let down” is the right way to put it.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Since it’s commonly understood that a club name isn’t someone’s real name, I don’t consider that a lie. If there’s something you don’t want to share, I’d rather you give a vague answer or simply say you don’t want to talk about it. At the very least, if you’re going to lie, please make it an obvious lie. That’s what I do, too.

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. I think you should deepen your relationship with someone you both feel you can trust. By the time you’ve come to trust each other, you’ll probably already know things like whether they’re married, have children, their real name and address, their job and workplace, and their educational background. Whether they have a boyfriend or their reasons for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) may not matter either. If you’ve built a relationship of trust, even if you’ve missed the right moment to tell the truth, I don’t think it will necessarily be difficult to bring it up. As you grow closer, there are also relationships where, although you only met through the club, you come to rely on each other and need each other more than you do other friends or even family.