I’m a male member in my 40s, and I’m often matched with women in their 20s. Sometimes, though, I find myself noticing their table manners and behavior during meals.
This content is machine-translated.
I don’t think I’m particularly strict about manners, but in situations like that, would it be better to gently suggest something like, “You might want to do it this way”?
How would the female members feel if they were told that? And how do the male members usually handle situations like this?
This is Ayase Nana ♡
☆ Mac-san, the story about finger bowls was in my moral education textbook. It brings back memories ♡♪
If you keep going on about manners, are you even enjoying your meal?
Were you only paying attention to that?
If a woman in her 20s had perfect manners, she probably wouldn’t be using a dating club in the first place—she’d likely come from a very well-bred family.
Since she’s in her 20s, please gently teach her, like, “This is how you might want to do it.”
She might push back, so be gentle about it.
Thank you.
If that doesn’t work for you, please offer women in their late 30s to around their 50s.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maezawa from the president’s office here, answering as well.
If someone is bothered by their date’s manners, I don’t think they can really say they’re not particularly strict about etiquette. I think it’s better to first acknowledge that you are someone who cares a lot about manners.
As for what to do:
Something you often see in dramas is quietly saying during the meal, “If you’re worried about the proper etiquette, just copy me.”
Beyond that, I think it’s best to leave things as they are, whether she gets everything right or not.
Once you become too stiff and preoccupied with manners, you may lose sight of the original purpose: did you come to enjoy the food, or to follow proper etiquette?
That said, if you realize that you’re particular about manners, you may be happier looking for a woman who shares that preference.
In principle, I don’t think manners and age are directly related. However, the older someone gets, the more situations they may encounter where proper etiquette is expected. So you might want to offer to women in their 30s or older rather than women in their 20s.
Still, if you’re not especially strict about manners, the best thing is probably not to worry about it. It may help to think about who manners are really for.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
As someone on the restaurant’s side, I want you to have a delicious, enjoyable experience that stays in your memory, so I’d prefer you not to worry too much about manners—unless it’s something particularly serious.
That said, the way you carry yourself can affect the impression you make on each other and the staff, as well as the trust you build, so I imagine it may also influence whether things continue in the future. At the same time, that’s part of what makes someone appealing, so I’m not sure it’s right to be overly concerned about it.
That’s how I feel as a male member,
Paper Airplane.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve never had a woman I offered to meet who made me concerned about her manners.
I don’t think trying to teach her would change anything, so you’d probably be better off making an offer to someone else.
That said, if your dates often turn out to be like that, you may want to rethink how you choose women to approach—or decide not to worry about their manners and adjust your expectations accordingly.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’m curious what level of egregious breach of etiquette would bother even someone as easygoing as you, but if she can’t manage basic manners in her twenties, I doubt telling her would make much difference.
Besides, she knew it was a first date with an older man and still couldn’t pull it off, right? If you really like her for other reasons, you could keep the meal brief—or skip it and enjoy a different kind of date instead.
I’m sure there are plenty of other wonderful women who also have good manners.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
