How much is acceptable to ask for as a birthday present? He gives me ¥200,000 a month and says I’m not allowed to see anyone else, so I’m essentially under an exclusivity agreement. I’m turning 20 soon. He’s never bought me anything besides my allowance.
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Would it be okay to ask him for a present worth around ¥200,000?
I’m a male member named Paper Airplane.
For a man receiving 200,000 yen a month to demand exclusivity is pretty stingy.
And asking, “Is that allowed?” is petty too.
In both cases, it sounds like a relationship where they have absolutely no respect for the other person.
The better the relationship, the less likely either person is to ask for gifts…
I think even spending 20,000–30,000 yen on things they need for everyday life is enough to show that you care.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
It’s interesting that “ねだる” (to ask for something) and “ゆする” (to extort) are written with the same kanji...
I think the appropriate limit for gifts depends on the relationship. I don’t believe gifts are something you should ask for, so if someone begs me for one, I say goodbye.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Rather than suddenly coming right out and asking for something, try sending your papa a picture of something you want over LINE with a message like, “Isn’t this cute?”
You should be able to tell from his reaction almost 100% of the time. Probably.
Speaking for myself, if a woman I like sends me something saying, “Isn’t this cute?” I’d reply, “It is. Okay, let me buy it for you!”—I’d actually be the one offering. But if it were a woman I didn’t like that way, I’d simply respond, “Yeah, it’s cute.”
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I’m a fan of Papuwa-san, and I’m in Seattle. That’s Precure, right?
For a birthday present, around 2 would be about right. Anything more would require a certain level of intimacy.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
Oh, come on, Papuwa-chan!!!
I can’t stop laughing.
I’m in my 40s too, but I’ve never had an exclusive arrangement—or even asked for a birthday present.
It’ll be rough if she keeps getting older like that. 😅
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer this as well.
No matter the circumstances, you shouldn’t blackmail him.
Actually, are you saying you have something you could use to blackmail him with? That’s scary.
But I think it’s fine to ask for what you want.
The issue is that he’s never given you a present even once.
It doesn’t sound like you’d get one just by asking.
So rather than blackmailing him, I think it would come down to negotiating, something like:
“I want something that costs around ¥500,000. If you won’t buy it for me, I’ll cheat on you. I absolutely will. I don’t want to be with you if you won’t buy it for me.”
That kind of negotiation, perhaps?
I chose ¥500,000 because the idea would be to compromise at ¥200,000 in the end—basically, “If ¥500,000 is too much, then how much would you be willing to spend?”
However, unless you’re genuinely prepared to break up over this, I think you should assume that, when it comes to negotiation, he has the upper hand because he has more experience.
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