I’m a female member in my 20s. When it comes to an adult relationship (intimate), I tell them, “Whatever you feel is appropriate, or I’ll leave it up to you,” regarding the allowance, but I usually end up receiving around 40,000 yen. I’d like at least 50,000 yen, but I didn’t want to come across as too money-minded, so I handled it that way. Should I just be upfront about the amount after all?

Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here. > Personally, I want at least 50,000 yen. If you want at least 50,000 yen, I think you should just say so upfront. > I was doing that because I didn’t want to come across as too money-hungry. Some men will think you’re being too aggressive about money if you say it outright, while others are the kind of male members who demand that you explain why your rate is so high. But really, whether it’s “high” is subjective. Even if someone asks, “Do you release CDs or something?” these days, anyone can release a CD. Are they going to pay a 1-million-yen allowance just because someone has released one? Of course not, right? (And then they’d probably shift the goalposts and say, “No, I mean, have you made your major-label debut?” At that point, they’re changing the standard themselves（笑）) Anyway, before I get sidetracked— Men may think all sorts of things, but you have to accept that some of that is unavoidable. Saying, “I want at least 50,000 yen,” is perfectly normal in this world. That said, saying: > “Whatever you feel is appropriate. I’ll leave it up to you.” also has its advantages. For example, even if the other person offers 40,000 yen, you can choose to continue seeing him for 40,000 while you’re short on money, without letting him realize that you’re compromising. Then, when someone offering 50,000 yen or more comes along, you can gradually cut the 40,000-yen guys loose. Having that kind of control is another benefit. You can also see how the other person values you. You may think, “So this person only sees my value as 40,000 yen.” That makes it easy to cut things off without hesitation when men offering 50,000, 60,000, 70,000, or 100,000 yen come along.

I’m Ayase Nana ♡ If you don’t state it clearly, they’ll offer 30,000 yen and there won’t be a next time, right? The men will be confused too, so I tell them 50,000 yen. Once, a guy said something completely ridiculous: “I’ll give you 30,000 yen, so you give me 30,000 yen too.”

I’m date◎yume, a male member. I’m voting for Flag Maker! I’m the same way, but generally, other people’s assessments of us tend to be harsher than our own. I’ve always felt that there would be nothing strange about my value being worth a four-digit monthly income. But in reality, I only make three digits 😢 I’m putting in the effort, but I doubt I’ll be able to achieve that in my lifetime… Well, that’s just how the world works.

I’m Taro, a male member. Yeah, that’s exactly what I do（笑） It’s not like I’m taking advantage of those words to lowball anyone. I simply offer less than what I personally consider the going rate, depending on how I feel about the person. To me, that gives me the motivation to think things through and work out a solution myself if we’re not quite compatible or there’s some kind of issue. Maybe we don’t have much to talk about and the conversation never really gets going, or I can’t figure out how the intimate side of things should work. There are even cases I’ve been trying to work through for over six months and still haven’t found my way. But the only reason I don’t give up is because of the “4.” If you have a specific amount in mind, I think you should just say “5.” Even when someone tells me “5,” I don’t get the impression that they’re being overly aggressive. That said, compared with someone who says “4,” puts their feelings into it, and is willing to experiment and work things out, I don’t have the same kind of attachment. Still, it’s really just a matter of: if we click, great; if we don’t, that’s too bad—goodbye. So it’s nothing unusual. For women, the reason they register with a dating club ultimately comes down to money, doesn’t it? Given that, I think saying “I’ll leave it up to you” carries a certain weight. There is a gray area in between, but if you clearly feel that “4 isn’t enough,” I think you’re better off not saying “I’ll leave it up to you.”

I’m column writer Flag Maker. It’s healthier to decide your own worth for yourself. Wrestler Hiroshi Tanahashi started calling himself “the Once-in-a-Century Talent,” and now he’s become the highest-paid actor in Hollywood. Dwayne Johnson also called himself “The People’s Champion” back when he was known as the wrestler The Rock—right from the start of his career, when he was an unpopular heel. Besides, the value of a championship belt is something the person wearing it builds up. That said, are you putting in enough effort to be worth a five? Tanahashi and Dwayne Johnson were recognized by the audience because they were constantly working to improve themselves. If you don’t have the ability to back it up, though, you’ll only turn the audience against you and end up as a one-hit wonder.

I’m Kamihikōki, a male member. > Is it better to be upfront about the amount? I’m not comfortable with women who state the amount so directly, so I couldn’t keep seeing them. At most, maybe twice.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I can’t say which approach is better, but women who say, “I’ll leave it up to you,” are definitely in the minority. In my experience, fewer than 5% say that. Personally, I don’t think stating your preferred allowance makes you seem pushy. Since this is an allowance-based relationship, I think it’s only natural to confirm the allowance. Unless you specifically want to appeal to men who dislike women stating their desired allowance, I think it’s better to be clear about it.