When has a monthly arrangement partner asked you for an increase in her allowance?
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・What reasons did she give?
・What amount (or increase) did you agree to, or have agreed to in the past?
Please also share any cases where you turned it down.
I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
It really depends on the person.
Recently, one woman came to me with a request (basically asking for money), so I just covered the full cost upfront.
I don’t usually do things like that, but I did it because I felt I could trust her as a person.
There was no reason other than “I trust her as a person.”
I actually get pretty annoyed when someone asks me for money like that. But once I decide someone’s a genuinely good person, my lending standards become extremely lenient. That said, my bar for labeling someone a genuinely good person is pretty high.
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Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here.
As a general rule, you should assume that increasing your allowance after the arrangement has already started will be difficult.
So if you ask for more, they’ll most likely either turn you down or end the relationship then and there.
That’s why it’s important to clearly state the amount you want from the beginning.
When bringing up an increase, you should be prepared to end things if they refuse. With that mindset, there’s perhaps a 0.1% chance they might agree.
If you’re struggling because you don’t have enough money, asking to meet more often would probably be more effective.
That said, men have their own pace too, so there’s no guarantee they’ll agree.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve never been asked to increase the allowance for a pay-per-meeting arrangement. However, I’m occasionally asked to meet more often because money is tight that month.
The reasons have included difficulty paying credit card bills or rent, or wanting to move.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
The girl I was seeing received a new offer with terms worth about twice what I was giving her, and she asked me to increase her allowance—not necessarily to double it.
She had always said she wasn’t comfortable seeing a lot of people at the same time, though I don’t know whether that was true. It was over my budget, and I was starting to feel the relationship had become routine, so I ended things and told her she should find someone new.
She must have been feeling the same way.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
We followed our usual routine—dinner, then a love hotel—and while she was taking a shower, I suddenly got a stomachache.
I probably could’ve held it, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus, so I made the decision to use the bathroom. Since it was a love hotel, you can probably imagine the layout. I prepared an excuse in case she said something, but she didn’t comment and we went ahead as usual, so I thought maybe it wasn’t a big deal. However, when it was time to give her the allowance at the end, she said she wanted one extra, so I gave it to her without arguing.
I never directly confirmed whether it was because of the poop. We haven’t met since, so that’s where things stand.
I’m sorry.
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