Tips
Jul 8, 2021 23:42
6 answers
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
I’m married, but I present myself as a “man who can’t keep things purely transactional.” That said, it’s not like we’re always lovey-dovey and inseparable. The nature of the relationship always changes along the way.
Women also often tell me, “I feel like you’d see right through my acting.” So no one ever tries any superficial acting with me. They could at least pretend to be affectionate once in a while.
I don’t think of these relationships as purely transactional, either. In my case, I only continue seeing women I genuinely click with—people I could remain friends with, without an allowance, even after they graduate from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer as well.
> If I act like I’m genuinely in love with someone who’s only looking for a transactional relationship, they’ll just end up disliking me, right? And vice versa.
Assuming the questioner is a woman asking about men:
Even if a man considers it a transactional relationship, I think he still wants things to feel like genuine romance during the few hours you’re together.
“Keeping things transactional” seems to mean that you don’t interfere with each other when you’re not meeting.
So if a woman misunderstands this and thinks, “As long as we just have intimacy, that’s enough,” then the intimacy itself won’t be enjoyable. It becomes, “How is this any different from doing it alone?”
So I don’t think you should misunderstand what “keeping things transactional” really means.
As for the opposite, I assume you mean genuine romantic feelings. In that case, the other person expects you to be their romantic partner even when you’re not together, meaning you can’t see other men.
If a man is looking for a genuine romantic relationship, I think you should consider whether you could actually see yourself marrying him.
And I feel that genuine romance belongs to a completely different world from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I think whether someone is genuinely romantic or purely transactional depends on the person.
Also, regarding:
> If you treat someone who wants a transactional relationship as though you’re genuinely in love with them, they’ll only end up disliking you—and vice versa, right?
That’s a difficult question too, but I think it comes down to how you approach the relationship.
In my case, I’m completely transactional, but I still engage with them sincerely.
Sorry, I don’t go as far as genuinely falling in love.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think it’s wise to view people or relationships in black-and-white terms. For example, I find falling genuinely in love to be a hassle, but at the same time, I don’t consider myself to be in a transactional relationship.
Other
I’m Taro, a male member.
As for the first question, no—it doesn’t fit. It depends on the person, and I don’t think it’s that simple.
The answer to the next question is yes. If you seriously pursue someone who wants a transactional relationship, it won’t work out. The same goes the other way around.
That said, I think there are plenty of people who haven’t decided whether they want something transactional or genuine. It depends on the person, as well as the conversations and experiences you share with them.
Are you the type to fall seriously in love? But if you just want to fall in love with anyone at all, wouldn’t that defeat the purpose? Start by genuinely engaging with the person in front of you.
Other
I’m a BB7 male member.
Whether someone is single or married probably doesn’t really matter. It comes down to personal preference.
I don’t think those looking for something genuine and those seeking a transactional relationship are a good match. If you force things to continue, you’ll probably both end up stressed.