Someone suggested having the meal for the first date in a private room, so I looked into private-room options at upscale hotel restaurants in Tokyo. They generally charge around ¥10,000–¥30,000 just for the private room. Looking at the photos, I also wondered whether they’re intended more for business entertaining than personal dates.
I can understand using a private room if the woman is a celebrity, but when it’s an ordinary woman, I’m not sure it’s necessary to spend tens of thousands of yen on a private room.
For those of you who prefer private rooms, do you spare no expense and pay tens of thousands of yen for one? Or do you use private rooms at more reasonably priced restaurants?
When you heard “private room,” was an upscale hotel in Tokyo really the only thing that came to mind?
I’m a little worried that someone so sheltered might get taken advantage of by a girl.
Though I don’t think Universe has any bad girls like that!
Marika
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I’m Flagmaker, a columnist.
Basically, I’m not a fan of private rooms. Even so, I choose a private room for the first date. It’s not an expensive restaurant at all—somewhere that costs less than ¥20,000 for two.
Today, though, by chance, my first date with an A-type woman is at a counter-style restaurant. Since she’s A-type and doesn’t negotiate the terms, I figured it would be fine.
After the second date, I generally choose restaurants without private rooms. But lately, when the other person is a college student who looks and talks like a gyaru, I do find myself worrying about what people around us think.
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Maezawa from “The President’s Office” here, with an answer as well.
> I wonder if it’s really necessary to spend tens of thousands of yen on a private room when meeting an ordinary woman.
If that’s how you feel, then I suspect you haven’t had much success with women so far.
Your way of thinking is very self-centered, and you haven’t mentioned the other person’s feelings at all. It makes me think you may generally be the kind of person who acts like, “Me, me, me—I’m the most important one. You all need to do as I say.”
Well, people’s personalities don’t change that easily, so I doubt anything I say will make much difference.
Still, if possible, I think you should make a habit of trying to put yourself in the woman’s shoes and consider how she feels.
Some women don’t mind meeting somewhere that isn’t a private room, while others dislike anything but a private room.
If you’re in your twenties and good-looking, you might be fine meeting somewhere without a private room. Even so, a private room makes it easier to have all kinds of conversations, which may help you become closer to the other person.
Conversely, if you can become close no matter where you talk, then a private room isn’t necessary. The same goes if the other person simply doesn’t care.
If you’re unsure whether you have that kind of natural talent, or you don’t know what the other person expects, I think it’s better to choose a private room.
If you look around, you may even find places that don’t charge a private-room fee—though there may be conditions, such as ordering a set course meal.
Rather than choosing a place based only on your own preferences, I think it’s better to consider the other person’s feelings and choose somewhere that will make her feel she’s been taken to a nice place.
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I’m Hikouki, a male member.
From both a woman’s and a man’s perspective, choosing a good restaurant doesn’t mean picking some upscale place in a city hotel. Those restaurants are safe, convenient choices that anyone can go to without much effort. That’s why they’re also used for business entertainment or when parents meet for the first time. You won’t be dissatisfied, but you probably won’t be impressed either.
There are plenty of private-room restaurants where you don’t even have to pay a private-room fee, and where the price is around ¥2,000–¥3,000 to ¥7,000–¥8,000 per person—places that make people say, “Wow, you really know your restaurants.”
Those kinds of places also tend to have very high ratings on review sites, usually around 4.80.
That said, when you choose a private room, you miss out on the restaurant’s lively atmosphere. So for someone who’s genuinely interested in food and wants to enjoy the experience, it can feel a little lacking. Personally, I think counter or table seating is more natural and enjoyable because you can take in the mood as well.
With a private room—especially in a city hotel—there’s that unmistakable “this is definitely something” feeling. And if you’re worried about being overheard or seen while discussing things you’d rather keep private, then all the more so…
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