Could I be charged with a crime for telling the wife of a man I was seeing until recently that he’s involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?

I’m Taro, a male member. If you acted with the intention of causing the other person some kind of harm, then it’s simply “violence.” Even if it was retaliation for something unpleasant they did to you, violence can’t be justified. I believe that’s the basic principle of the law. After that, it’s just a technical matter of determining what crime to charge you with. Incidentally, this question itself would be good evidence that the act was planned. That man certainly violated basic etiquette, but it would be enough to give the club feedback. The idea of “getting revenge” may sound cool, but it only demeans you. Have you seen the movie Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri? If not, I highly recommend watching it.

I’m columnist Fuu. That sounds like a really unpleasant experience. However, if you report him, it would mean that you knew he was married. If his wife can identify you, she may be able to seek damages from you under Japan’s Civil Code for an unlawful act. Alternatively, if she can’t identify you and instead demands damages from your papa (a male supporter), and he pays the full amount, he may then seek reimbursement from you for your share of the damages. For your own sake, I think it would be better to let it go. In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it’s probably safest to stick to “I didn’t know he was married.” As for a papa like that, end things quickly before you build up any more stress.

I’m Aya, a female member. Something similar happened to me with a papa (a doctor, no less, and someone with a fairly prestigious profession). It made me realize that people who do things like that are everywhere. I think it’s fine to do it at your own risk. Just don’t forget that there’s always a chance they may retaliate if you do.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. Make your own decisions and do what you want. Don’t ask other people. Why should I have to push you along? lol

Since you were the one meeting with him, you could be the one held legally responsible. Also, it’s possible his wife knows what kind of person he is and is turning a blind eye. Maybe she’s given up on him and no longer pays him any attention, which is why he’s acting as a papa.

Maezawa from the CEO’s office will answer as well. Because there are so many laws, you may think you’re acting carefully and doing nothing wrong, only to end up being charged with a crime. For example, a few years ago, a customer made a store employee apologize for making a mistake and forced them to kneel and bow. The customer was arrested for coercion. Around that time, whenever a customer complained, I feel like jokes such as, “Shall I kneel and bow? (Although you might get arrested)” became popular. There are other cases too. When someone does something to you and the subject of an apology comes up, in Japan—a country governed by the rule of law—it’s generally normal to express an apology with money, as happens in court as well, right? But if you say, “Then pay me ¥100,000, and I’ll forgive you,” intending to settle things that way, you could be arrested for extortion. If a third party—usually a lawyer—says it, it becomes a negotiation over the amount of compensation. But saying it directly yourself can sometimes constitute a crime. That’s the point. You might feel that making an anonymous report wouldn’t get you in trouble, but if you write about it on a blog or somewhere similar, you may potentially be charged with an offense. (I suppose it also depends on how you word it.) That’s why, when it comes to the law, it’s best to consult a legal professional. Incidentally, if you anonymously report the person via direct message and they can identify you as the questioner, there seems to be a risk that they could demand compensation from you for the affair. So, if you’re going to expose the affair, you may need to hire a private investigator or someone similar and expose an affair involving someone other than yourself. Otherwise, you could end up being the one who gets hurt. That said, nothing good comes from holding a grudge against someone. If you’ve already ended things, I recommend erasing them cleanly from your memory. And next time, I hope you meet a good man. There are good men out there...

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I don’t think you’d be charged with a crime, but I do think it’s better to stop. More importantly, I wonder why you didn’t just end things right away with a papa you disliked that much.