I’m Fuu, a columnist.
Since 20% means one in five—or two out of ten—it’s still a minority overall. I’m sorry, but there will always be some men who want to have sex without a condom.
The solution is to communicate clearly.
Before going to a hotel for the first time, make it clear when discussing the allowance that using a condom is a condition.
If, on the second meeting, he tries to pressure you into going without one, tell him firmly that you can’t continue seeing him if he won’t use contraception.
That said, if he offers a good allowance and you’d hate to lose this papa, you could buy condoms yourself and bring them with you.
Bringing your own condoms and treating transportation costs as separate is standard for a first meeting at Universe. From the second meeting onward, unless you’ve negotiated otherwise, transportation is generally considered included in the allowance.
So if you’re going to leave at that point, you need to be willing to forgo roughly one meeting’s worth of transportation money.
Why do situations like this keep happening? I’ve never experienced it myself.
Marika
I’m Kazu, a male member.
① I think you should just ask him to buy one at a convenience store.
② I believe the rules set by Universe apply to dates arranged through Universe. So I think it’s normal not to receive it separately.
To avoid this kind of misunderstanding, when negotiating the allowance, I think you should mention that you were under the impression transportation expenses would be paid separately.
Some women, when discussing the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate), ask, “Will you be wearing a condom?”
Come to think of it, some women also ask, “Do you have a condom?” after taking a shower or once they’re in bed. I wonder what they intend to do if I say I don’t have one. I always carry one, so I’ve never ended up in that situation.
This is Maezawa from the CEO’s office. I’ll answer as well.
① At that point, is it okay to say, “In that case, I’ll be heading home,” and leave?
Whether it’s right or wrong, this is a free relationship, so either choice is up to you.
However, if he’s willing to go buy some at a convenience store, I think it would be okay to wait this time while making it clear that you’ll leave if the same thing happens next time.
② Also, if I haven’t even received transportation expenses by that point (even though this technically violates the rules), is it okay to ask for them before leaving?
Do you mean that, since he didn’t have protection ready, you just want to receive the transportation expenses and leave?
This is a rather difficult situation, so I think it would be best to receive the transportation expenses before confirming whether he has protection.
Personally, I’d want to receive the transportation expenses upfront, separately from the allowance for the hotel.
Something along those lines, perhaps?
③ Honestly, things like this keep happening. I’ve started asking about protection before the second date, but some men make an obviously displeased face. Others wait until we’re at the hotel and then say, “Actually…”
I think it depends on the timing.
It might be better to bring it up while you’re in bed together afterward, for example:
“I’d like us to continue using protection every time.”
Just negotiating about it is enough to kill the mood, and I really can’t understand people who refuse to use protection.
If you explain it that way, I think the chances of them trying to negotiate later will decrease.
It does seem like the easiest time to talk about it is around the time you’re intimate, though.
