I’ve been dating several women since joining the club and have progressed to adult relationships, but I just don’t seem to enjoy the dates.
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I love sex, but I find everything leading up to it—making appointments, arranging the details, choosing what to wear, and getting ready—tiresome.
I don’t enjoy talking with the women at all, either.
I realize that the problem isn’t with the women, but with my own boring personality.
Does that mean someone like me isn’t suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and that I should quit the club while I’m still early on and just go to a sex industry venue instead?
I’m Basil, a male member.
Lately, I’ve come to think that the appeal of dating clubs is that, unlike the sex industry, things don’t inevitably progress with every woman. It takes me back to my younger days, when even if I tried to woo a woman, I often couldn’t get things to move forward. And when you do this with people close to you, all the talk about power harassment and sexual harassment has become exhausting.
I’m also the type who loses interest once I’ve “caught the fish,” so even when things have progressed, conversations and planning dates with someone whose hobbies and interests don’t match mine gradually start to feel like a chore.
That said, I haven’t lost my motivation when it comes to meeting someone new. So I can’t stop accepting new offers: I go with Type C when I want to meet someone new, and Type B when I want to enjoy the process.
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I’m Ayase Nana, a female member.
If all you want is sex, you should go to a sex-work establishment. You might even find a favorite there and become a regular.
If you want even a little affection, you’d be better off joining Universe.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
> Should I quit the club right away and go to a sex-service establishment instead?
People who find sex services boring are better suited to the club.
Besides, it costs more than using sex services. It’s inefficient.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it simply comes down to personal preference. I don’t think it’s a question of someone’s character or anything like that. It’s like asking whether people who prefer sweet foods or spicy foods are better—neither is inherently superior.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a male member.
I think you’ve already arrived at most of the answer yourself, so when it comes to sex, a brothel or other adult-service venue might suit you better.
That said, I do have one suggestion. Regarding your comment, “I don’t enjoy talking with women at all,” it may be worth figuring out whether you dislike talking with women in general, or whether conversations with women when sex is already guaranteed simply feel boring.
Personally, I use dating apps to meet and date women, then try to progress to sex without exchanging money—what’s known as online pickup—or approach women on the street and go to a hotel, known as street pickup. Conversations have become pretty methodical since there’s a certain process to follow, but I still enjoy each time because there’s the tension of knowing that if I fail, I won’t get to have sex.
You could satisfy your sexual urges through adult services while also trying this kind of approach—it might be interesting.
As a result, you might even find enjoyment in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) again.
If you’re going to do it, you may as well enjoy all kinds of experiences.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here with my answer as well.
Everyone has things that suit them—and things that don’t.
If you find all the preparations leading up to it—arranging the date, making the arrangements, choosing what to wear, and so on—too much of a hassle, then I think you’d be better suited to, and probably enjoy, going to an adult entertainment venue.
There’s no point forcing yourself to go on dates if you’re not enjoying them.
One of the advantages of adult entertainment is that you can be intimate right away without making any preparations. I think you’re better off spending your money on what you actually enjoy.
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