Good morning.

I’m Fuu, a column writer. If you want to continue receiving offers and maintain good relationships with your papas (male supporters), it may be worth considering whether you can calmly accept the feedback and improve, rather than simply assuming the other person is at fault. If the staff’s comments on your profile are harsh, it also seems likely that there’s a reason for them. Changing someone else is very difficult, but you can change yourself from the moment you decide that you want to.

Maezawa from the president’s office will answer this one as well. > A little while ago, someone who made me an offer > wrote a terrible review of me. > He wasn’t rude to me personally, though. What exactly does that mean? The man says he wasn’t personally treated rudely, yet he still received a terrible review, right? Did she perhaps behave rudely toward other people during the date? Unless you provide a little more detail about what the review actually said, it’s hard to understand the situation. > I should have listened to the staff’s harsh comments. Does that mean the staff also noticed something about her? I’m curious what it was. You also said he had seen her photos and videos. Does that mean he liked what he saw, but she made a different impression in person? Or perhaps she changed clothes for the shoot and normally dresses very differently? Still, since she would take her clothes off if they went to a hotel, I doubt he would write something terrible based solely on her clothing. There simply isn’t enough information to tell what happened, so I’d like to hear a little more. That said, if no other men have ever said anything similar, it’s probably best to assume that this particular person simply wasn’t a good match.

I’m Aya, a female member. It seems to happen occasionally. It’s kind of a gamble—thinking, “The staff said this about her, but maybe she’ll actually be great.” All you had to do was pleasantly prove the staff’s harsh comments wrong, but it seems you couldn’t do that. More than that, though, something about the way you write gives off a really strong older-woman vibe, which is a little scary.

I’m Kamihikoki, a male member. That’s pretty awful, I agree. That said, I can’t really tell which side is at fault—or whether both are. At these clubs, even a single negative feedback comment can drastically reduce the number of offers a woman receives. (I asked a staff member, and they said it could even stop offers altogether.) So if it was written in the review, I assume it was passed along as feedback anyway. If it was made public, even more so… Also, as Marika wrote, staff members normally wouldn’t leave such harsh comments.

They wouldn’t write such harsh feedback just because you showed up wearing a long skirt. If the staff wrote such a critical comment, it likely means you were rude during the interview or had received poor feedback in the past. The fact that you weren’t aware of it is probably why they wrote another harsh review. From the man’s perspective, he may have thought, “This sounds awful, but surely it can’t really be that bad,” made you an offer, and then found out it was true. I feel sorry for him too. Marika