Sorry if this has already been asked.

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. A woman told me, “I’m going to choose you and leave the club,” so I played it safe in front of her. Later, I asked the club staff, “I don’t even know whether I want to continue seeing her, but she’s talking about leaving on her own. So if she asks to withdraw, please try to persuade her to put her membership on hold instead.” This feels kind of similar to the question being asked, and it’s confusing, but what I did shouldn’t be against the rules, right!? It’s gotten so complicated that I’m starting to doubt myself lol. Forcing someone to withdraw is against the rules, but a woman declaring that she’s going to withdraw puts a huge amount of pressure on me too, so I think that should be added to the list of rule violations.

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well. > Forcing someone to withdraw is prohibited, but isn’t forcing someone to take a leave of absence also prohibited? Kazu’s search skills are impressive, but I previously answered this by saying that the rules could be applied by analogy, and that the prohibited items were illustrative rather than an exhaustive list. So, if you think about it, forcing someone to take a leave of absence would also be prohibited. That said, I assume this time the question is from a woman who was told to take a leave of absence. So the real issue is probably how to sidestep the situation. A man has asked you to take a leave of absence. What should you do? One option is to make the club look like the bad guy. You could tell him something like: “I asked the club to put my account on leave, but they asked me not to do it just yet, so I’ll apparently be staying active a little longer. I did ask them to put me on leave, though—sorry.” Then tell the staff the same thing. “I’ve been asked to take a leave of absence, but I don’t want to, so I told him that the club won’t let me. If he contacts you, could you please handle it smoothly?” Something along those lines. Some staff members might say they can’t do that, but the point is simply to let the club know in advance so they aren’t caught off guard. Their response doesn’t really matter. (笑) Then, a few months later, if he asks: “You said it would only be a little longer, but your profile is still showing. What’s going on?” You can say: “I’m still registered with the club, but I can’t really tell from my end whether my account has actually been put on leave. I’ll ask them again. I haven’t received a single offer since then, so I assumed I was already on leave.” Even if you have received offers, it might be best to say that you haven’t. If you haven’t received any offers, he may simply decide that it’s not a big deal. Basically, keep saying that you’re not really sure what’s happening, but you’ve already informed the club that you want to take a leave of absence, and keep sidestepping the issue smoothly each time. There are probably other ways to handle it as well, so try to think of a way to avoid antagonizing him while navigating the situation. Keep the man wrapped around your finger. That’s what being a classy woman is all about.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I remember a discussion some time ago about whether forcing someone to take a break from the club was acceptable, but I couldn’t find it right away, so I’ll answer again here. The membership rules list the following as one of the prohibited actions: > Verbal abuse, violence, harassment, stalking, or forcing a member or staff member to leave the club or resign from their position I think there are two points to consider here: whether taking a break falls under this rule even though it isn’t explicitly mentioned, and whether it actually constitutes coercion. Although taking a break isn’t specifically listed, I don’t think the argument that “it isn’t prohibited because it isn’t listed” would hold up. If the club seriously decided to discipline a male member, making that argument would be pointless. Ultimately, I think they would say he was being disciplined for failing to meet the “gentlemanly” requirement in the membership eligibility clause: > Membership is limited to gentlemanly men who have a steady job, are willing to provide the club with their real name and contact information (mobile phone), and have sufficient emotional and financial leeway. The next question is whether saying, “We’ll get in trouble with the club if we ask her to leave, so please have her take a break instead,” constitutes coercion. I imagine people will have different views on that. Personally, I don’t think it goes as far as coercion. To sum up, the membership rules do not explicitly prohibit forcing someone to take a break, but since forcing someone to leave the club is prohibited, I believe forcing someone to take a break is prohibited as well. Addendum: I found it. https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/5371 This is Maezawa’s answer: > But if leaving the club is not allowed, then it seems obvious that, under an analogous application of the rule prohibiting forcing someone to leave, asking a woman to take a break today would also be unacceptable. > > I assume the question is whether you want to argue over whether the prohibited actions are an exhaustive list.