About the second date: What time do you think we’d part ways in each case? Both include time together at his place.
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1. A lunch date starting at noon on a day off
2. A date starting at 3 p.m. on a day off, after we’ve both already had lunch
Why I’m asking:
Since it’s only the second date and we’re not that close yet—and there’s no four-hour minimum like there was the first time—I was wondering how many hours people usually spend together. The man is interested in the woman, but she isn’t interested in him yet.
Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
For dates after the first meeting, I think it’s best to use four hours—two hours plus two hours—as a general guideline.
For example:
> 1. A lunch date starting at noon on a day off
Since there’s a meal, you’d wrap things up around 4 p.m.
> 2. A date starting at 3 p.m. on a day off, with both of you having already eaten lunch
Since there’s no meal, you’d probably call it a day around 5 p.m.
If you’ve gotten close, you might also have dinner together. But if you’re not that close yet, I imagine you’d just end the date after spending time at one another’s place.
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I’m BB7, a male member.
Either way, if the woman doesn’t have any interest in the man, dragging things out will only make her uncomfortable.
Leaving things feeling slightly unfinished is probably better for both of you.
Wouldn’t it be safest to wrap things up after three or four hours?
Unless she wants to stay longer—which is highly unlikely.
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I’m Hikouki, a male member.
It depends on how comfortable we get and how much we hit it off on the first date, but I usually ask the girl at the beginning what time she’d like to head home and see her off around then.
It varies from girl to girl, but with someone who loses track of time, the hours just fly by…
For option 1: 4–10 p.m.
For option 2: 7 p.m.–midnight.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
When we meet at noon, about 90% of the time we have lunch for an hour and a half, then spend two or three hours at a hotel before parting ways around 4 p.m.
When we meet at 3 p.m., we usually spend two or three hours at a hotel, then sometimes go out for dinner and sometimes don’t.
My own time is important to me on days off, so unless we share a hobby, I generally don’t go on long dates.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Answer: It depends on the person.
As a general expectation, about two hours for a meal or drinks, plus two hours in a private room.
If you meet at 3 p.m., it might be just under an hour for drinks, a little under two hours in a private room, and possibly a little over an hour for dinner if she agrees to go.
If she feels comfortable spending time with you and feels she’s receiving a generous allowance, she may be willing to stay longer. On the other hand, if she finds it stressful, isn’t satisfied with the allowance, or thinks in terms of an hourly rate, she may want to leave sooner.
In the end, it comes down to compatibility.
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