Maezawa from Shachōshitsu here—I’ll answer this one too.
I think there are three situations in which staff recommend a woman:
① When a woman who meets certain criteria comes in, or when the staff think she might be a good match for a particular man’s preferences
② When the staff personally like her and think, “Any man would have a great time on a date with this woman”
③ Special circumstances
In case ①, the man will usually look at the woman’s profile and decide whether she’s his type before making an offer.
In case ②, it comes down to whether he trusts the staff’s judgment. If the staff recommend her that strongly, many men will think, “Why not meet her and see?”
If they meet and genuinely hit it off, it can turn into an exciting and enjoyable time. If not, she may not be his type, the conversation may not flow, and some men might even make comments that hurt the woman’s feelings.
That said, staff normally wouldn’t recommend someone to a man like that, so perhaps this wasn’t actually case ②.
In that case, I suspect it may have been ③—some special circumstance.
For example, if the woman he originally made an offer to suddenly cancels on the day, after he’s already reserved a restaurant or gotten himself in the mood to meet someone, the staff may scramble to find another woman.
That’s probably why you sometimes get messages like, “Could you meet today at [time]?”
In those situations, after confirming that the timing works, the staff have the man check the woman’s profile before deciding whether to proceed. At that point, he may only be looking at her photos.
That could be why comments like that sometimes slip out.
Also, when a meeting is arranged with another woman at the last minute, many men are probably hoping for an adult relationship (intimate). Of course, this isn’t a sex industry service, so the woman is free to decline, and the men understand that too.
This time, though, the man was probably thinking to himself, “Why on earth did they recommend someone who only wanted dinner?” while forcing himself to act like a gentleman. I think his true feelings simply leaked out in the way he spoke.
It was an unfortunate setting this time, but it would be perfectly reasonable to decline same-day offers in the future.
Or you could simply have dinner while thinking, “He’s only saying things like this because he wants to get intimate. He’s no different from a child.”
I’m Meg, a female member.
That sounds like a terrible experience. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Not everyone is like that, though.
Still, anyone who makes a same-day offer does seem like a person to avoid…
I learned something from this too. m(_ _)m
That person probably just happened to have some free time that day and wanted to go on a date.
Since you mentioned you also met at B, it’s better than him simply wanting to hook up that day.
I think he was just a jerk, so don’t let it bother you—move on to the next one.
Marika
I’m Kazu, a male member.
> If a staff member recommends someone, would you ever make an offer even if she isn’t really your type?
Yes, I would.
I see value in meeting someone when a third party thinks she might be a good match for me.
That said, judging from “I didn’t look at the profile at all—I met her because she was recommended” and “I didn’t expect anyone to be available when I made a same-day offer,” I suspect this wasn’t really a staff recommendation. It sounds more like the man asked, “Is there anyone available today?” and the staff introduced her to him. Though I suppose you could still call that a staff recommendation.
> A girl with nothing better to do who’ll come when you make a same-day offer, lol.
An overly eager old guy making same-day offers, lol.
> When I said I’d also like to enjoy a meal and conversation together, he lectured me, saying, “That’s not what this place is for.”
He was probably only interested in an adult relationship (intimate). Sorry you had to deal with that.
I’d like to lecture that man myself: “That’s not what this place is for,” lol.
I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
If he keeps repeating such unpleasant things, it’s no wonder he ends up making such miserable same-day date offers.
Even if someone is recommending her, you’ll make an offer to someone you actually like. Even if you haven’t looked closely at her profile, you wouldn’t say that, and you certainly wouldn’t lecture her—or make any comments at all—about her type.
