I’m a female member.

I currently have around five ongoing arrangements. With three of them, we’re intimate without using condoms, relying on withdrawal. At first, I asked them to use condoms, but after being asked repeatedly and being told various things, I couldn’t stand my ground and just went along with it. I’m also afraid they’ll end the arrangement, so I’ve become unable to say anything. While I’m taking low-dose birth control pills, they aren’t 100% effective, and there’s also the risk of STIs. Every time I rely on withdrawal, I’m overwhelmed by the thought that if I were to conceive, I wouldn’t be able to choose to give birth or properly care for the child, and the worry that it might happen keeps me awake at night. I’m in a lot of pain. I know it sounds selfish, but I need to earn money for tuition, so I can’t afford to lose my current supporters. Since they’ve said they don’t want me seeing anyone besides them, I can’t tell them I want to use condoms because I’m seeing other people. If I did become pregnant, I wouldn’t know who the father was. Would it be okay to discuss this with each of them? Is there a way to ask them to use condoms without having them end our arrangements? Thank you in advance.