I’m the one who wrote that I like my papa (a male supporter) enough to date him without an allowance. https:\/\/universe-club.jp\/help\/questions\/view\/6094
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Flag Maker, thank you for calling me out. Did it really seem that strange? lol
When I wrote “even without an allowance,” I meant it sincerely. I’ve been seeing my papa for four years, and three years ago I started streaming video game commentary, which increased my annual income eightfold. I live with my parents and have always been frugal, so I only spend a few tens of thousands of yen a month. For the past three years or so, I haven’t needed to date for money, and I’ve only been seeing people I genuinely love.
They’re basically boyfriends who fulfill me both physically and emotionally, though I do sometimes have an actual boyfriend as well. It was also perfectly normal for me to have two or more boyfriends around my own age, so I’ve never felt guilty in that sense.
So I told my two papas that I didn’t need money because of my gaming income, but they insisted that I take it. I’ve thought about it in my own way, and I wonder if, since they’re married and much older than me, they give me money to maintain some kind of boundary between us. Sometimes they even say things like, “It’s not as though I can marry you...” Maybe they feel guilty too? That’s the question I’m asking this time: even when someone says they don’t need money, why do you still give it to them?
By the way, A, who is going to rent an apartment for me, seems to be doing it because I sometimes don’t get along with my parents since I spend all night gaming. He says, “Wouldn’t it be better if you had an apartment where you could focus on gaming and having sex with me?” I’m very grateful. I don’t want an apartment myself, and if my papa hadn’t suggested it, I never would have considered living in such a luxurious place. My parents’ house is more than enough.
But apparently, ever since he was young, he has rented apartments and covered living expenses for girlfriends who weren’t part of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as well. So maybe he sees spending money as an expression of love. He won’t continue seeing me unless I accept it, and whenever I say, “I don’t need your money!!” it turns into a serious argument. He once said, “I can’t trust young men who split the bill,” so I suppose that’s just his values.
I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
Sorry about that ^^;
The previous question came across to me like a comedy setup, and I thought, “If you take away the allowance, you’re not going to keep the same kind of relationship you had when there was an allowance, are you?” It wasn’t that I found it strange—I just saw plenty of openings for a comeback.
You’re absolutely right, Kazu.
Getting excited and thinking, “Yes! No more allowance!” would only last a moment. After that, even getting anything going is incredibly difficult, haha.
That said, if she told me, “I don’t need any money,” I’d probably say, “Seriously? Thanks!” and stop giving her money from then on. In that respect, everything is entirely up to the woman I’m seeing.
That’s when the real battle begins—a bare-knuckle training match where there’s no room for pretending.
I’m guessing she intended to put me in the “just a friend” folder. But surely there will be a time, maybe once a year, when she thinks, “I kind of feel like it today.” When that happens, I’d like to smoothly offer myself by saying, “If you’re okay with me, go ahead.” I’m determined to fully develop my value as a highly safe, reliable fill-in option.
I’ll keep diving headfirst into both jokes and openings.
In the end, it was just a dirty-joke punchline. Sorry.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, answering your question as well.
Thank you for your question.
> I wonder if he gives me money to keep a certain boundary between us.
I think that’s probably the case.
For example, there’s always a possibility—however small—that you could end up falling too deeply for him and wanting to become his wife.
If your papa has a family, it’s also possible you could fall for him so deeply that you’d want to go as far as breaking up that family.
But if you receive money from him every time, you’ll probably feel that he’s drawing a line between you, too, so your feelings likely won’t go beyond simply liking him.
Of course, there may also be reasons why he can’t respond to your feelings by marrying you.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think the reason Flagmaker reacted that way back then is because they’ve probably been told the same thing themselves.
As for this question, from a papa’s perspective, giving an allowance is the foundation of the current relationship. He can’t guarantee that he’ll marry her and support her for the rest of her life, and he probably feels guilty about that too. In other words, if the allowance were removed, he wouldn’t be confident that she would still continue seeing him. From a man’s perspective, he doesn’t have the confidence to compete on the same playing field as a boyfriend her own age.
To put it bluntly, if the relationship became a normal boyfriend-girlfriend relationship rather than one based on an allowance, she might stop having sex with him whenever he wanted just because she wasn’t in the mood. Or oral sex might be limited to one minute. Things that were tolerated because he was providing an allowance might no longer be acceptable once the allowance disappeared.
I think that’s the reason.
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I’m a male member who goes by “Paper Airplane.”
Among the men around me, there are:
- Those who always treat everyone to meals
- Those who never pay for the meals themselves
It’s obvious which type people rely on—and which type women stick with.
If you feel grateful for the benefits you’ve received in life, you naturally want to do something for your juniors and for women.
Also, even if they’re women from the same club, if you met through the club, it feels natural to keep giving them an allowance. But if you met them outside the club, it would feel unnatural to give them one, so you don’t.
A lot depends on how you first met.
Which way of meeting is better?
Meeting through a club is perhaps 20 times more efficient, and lately I’ve come to feel that clubs have many more advantages as well.
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