I met a wonderful man, but after we were intimate once, he ended things. I don’t know why. I’m thinking of suggesting that we meet again and telling him I don’t need any money. How would a man see that?

Maezawa from the President’s Office here with an answer. Thank you for your question. It’s hard to say without knowing the reason, but he may simply be the kind of man who loses interest in a woman after being intimate with her once. If that’s the case, even if you tell him you don’t need an allowance and just want to see him, he has lost interest at a fundamental level, so it probably won’t return. If he is that type of man, you might instead try saying something like: “An adult relationship would be difficult for me going forward, but I’d still like you to take me out to dinner. Are you free on [date]?” That might make him think, “Huh? Why?” and spark his interest again. It’s a bit of a gamble, though, and if the original reason was something else, it probably won’t have any effect on him. Also, I think you should always be looking for new men, so I recommend searching for someone new in parallel.

Yokoyama from the staff here. I’d suggest telling him exactly that! I’m sure he’d be happy to hear it. That said, from a man’s perspective, it may still feel intimidating. A male member once told me that he feels guilty if there’s no money involved. Still, why not tell him you’d like to meet him once? If he turns you down or ignores you, you can always use that as a reason to move on.

I’m in Seattle. I’d be open to meeting them for the experience. Let’s try to find out why.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. You probably haven’t been rejected—they may simply not have gotten in touch. Try reaching out once and see.

I’m a male member, and my username is Kamihikōki. If I sleep with someone once and we’re not compatible, I have no desire to see her again. (She probably won’t know the reason.) This isn’t a romantic relationship, so there’s no reason to keep seeing someone you’re incompatible with. Meeting her would be a waste of time, and I wouldn’t want to do it even for free—no matter how much money I was offered.

I’m Kazu, a male member. There are several possible reasons a man may reject you after you’ve been intimate once. One is that the relationship wasn’t as good as he had imagined it would be. Saying you don’t need an allowance won’t solve that. To get him to meet you again, you need to restore his sense of anticipation by making him feel that things with you could actually be much better. Men aren’t going to meet someone just because the allowance is low—or because it’s free. What they’re looking for is a woman they want to see even if they have to give her an allowance, not simply good value for money. As an aside, I think this situation is more likely to happen when you go on a lot of dates before becoming intimate. The more dates you have, the higher your expectations for the “relationship” become. If it were me, I’d have pretty high expectations after finally becoming intimate with a Type B woman following five dates. If the man simply enjoys sleeping with as many women as possible, he might meet you again if you say you don’t need an allowance. However, even if he does, I don’t think he’ll treat you as someone special. Another possibility is that something has happened in the man’s life and he can no longer continue seeing women—for example, his spouse found out, or his income has dropped. If his spouse found out, there’s nothing you can do. If his income has decreased, he might appreciate it if you didn’t need an allowance. But when someone is dealing with the serious problem of reduced income, would he really feel like dating a woman? In other words, approaching him by saying, “I don’t need an allowance, so please see me,” probably isn’t very effective. Still, there are exceptions to everything, so it might work sometimes.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I understand how you feel. However, “Don’t chase someone who’s leaving!” is my personal principle when it comes to dating clubs. I imagine many women feel the same way. I hope this helps. About half the people in the world are men. This may have been a great connection, but there are still plenty of opportunities ahead. Let’s make your next encounter even better than this one.