I’m gradually finding it harder to put a limit on how much I spend on papa-katsu, and I’m starting to wonder what I should do.
I’m currently in my mid-50s. Based on the number of years I can continue working until retirement, my current take-home income, and my current savings, I figured that for the roughly 15 years until I’m around 70—since I assume I’ll retire from chasing women by then—I should be fine spending about ¥8 million a year, or ¥600,000–¥700,000 a month, on what you might call “entertainment with women,” including papa-katsu (setting fees, allowances, hotel costs, and meals) and other adult-entertainment expenses. That’s why I started using Universe.
By “should be fine,” I mean that even after spending that much on “entertainment with women,” I should still have enough money set aside for living expenses and everything else for the rest of my life once I retire.
Because I had imposed an annual budget of ¥8 million on myself, at first I tried to continue seeing women I had met once and had an adult relationship (intimate) with for as long as possible, in order to save on new setting fees. I also tried not to spend excessively—for example, I generally avoided the Black class and mainly made offers in the Platinum class.
Recently, though, whenever I look at Universe’s website, I see one beautiful new member after another signing up, and quite a few of them have relationship type C. When I think that I could have an adult relationship (intimate) with one of these beautiful women for around ¥150,000 including the setting fee—¥50,000 for the setting fee, ¥60,000 allowance, ¥20,000 for the hotel, and ¥20,000 for meals in the Platinum case—I’m gradually finding it harder to restrain myself, and I’ve been making more new offers.
I’m also finding it increasingly difficult to suppress my desire to make offers to exceptionally beautiful women in the Black class, so those offers have been increasing as well.
As a result, lately there have been months when my spending on “entertainment with women” exceeds ¥1 million if I’m not careful, and I occasionally find myself wondering whether this is really okay. (I currently go on about six to eight dates a month.)
I imagine that many of the people answering this question are super-high earners who have no concerns about living expenses after retirement. Still, if anyone has experienced losing control and exceeding the papa-katsu or “entertainment with women” budget they had originally planned—because they wanted to make offers to one beautiful new woman after another, or to women in the Black class rather than Platinum—I would really appreciate any advice on how you thought about the situation and what you did to deal with it.
I’m Saito, the columnist♪
Things don’t always go according to plan, do they? Some months you don’t make a single offer, and other times you suddenly make a whole bunch.
Wasn’t the reason you joined a dating club in the first place that you couldn’t hold your feelings back...?
Things haven’t gone according to plan for me either. Instead, I’ve started thinking, “I wonder how much I’d have to spend before I got bored of it...?”
Holding yourself back too much isn’t good for you, so try taking your mind off it. For example, go on a different kind of date with the women you’ve been seeing.
And maybe always part ways with anyone ranked third or lower.
To put it a little harshly, I find myself thinking, “Why not just increase your income...?”
The motivation to work harder so you can enjoy time with women is also, in its own way, a respectable benefit of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Rather than letting papa-katsu ruin you, look for an incredibly lucky woman who energizes you or helps your income increase tenfold. Even if you shower her with gifts, you’ll still come out ahead.
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Maezawa from the Corporate Planning Office here as well.
You shouldn’t push yourself too far. If you’ve decided that ¥8 million is your limit, I think it’s best to stick to that.
That said, you could also choose to live with the mindset that, as long as you can get by somehow in retirement, that’s enough—and enjoy yourself while you’re still healthy and active.
Alternatively, if you can afford to spend around ¥8 million a year, it seems you might be able to put roughly ¥16 million toward investments or something similar, so increasing your funds could be another option.
Whatever approach you take, though, I think it’s best not to exceed the amount you’ve set as your personal limit.
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I’m Basil, a male member and a new respondent.
I look forward to contributing here.
I’m around the same age, and I’m in a similar situation, with my expenses steadily increasing. I guess it’s something everyone goes through eventually. My preferences don’t necessarily match yours or the women you meet, but I’ll share my own approach in case it helps.
◯ I mainly focus on G-class women, where there are fewer offers
→ I like down-to-earth, sensible college students and office workers, so I’m quite satisfied. I don’t find the higher classes attractive enough to justify the difference in cost.
◯ I offer an allowance of ¥40,000 per meeting, knowing they may say no
→ Women like this are usually a little short on money because of tuition or rent, and simply want to enjoy a little luxury like everyone else, so they aren’t overly demanding. I’m prepared to pay ¥50,000, but about 70–80% accept ¥40,000.
◯ They also know their limits, which helps keep date costs down
→ Sometimes we stay within ¥10,000 total, including a love hotel and a meal at an ordinary restaurant we often go to. Of course, we occasionally splurge, so the average ends up around ¥40,000–¥50,000.
◯ No shopping
→ I’ve never been asked, but fashion expenses can get out of control, so that’s an absolute no for me.
◯ If we can’t agree to progress to an adult relationship at the first meeting, I simply move on
→ I mainly make offers to B-type women, but I don’t pursue someone who wants to meet several times before deciding.
◯ I keep two or three ongoing relationships, meeting each woman once a month
→ I used to meet each woman about twice a month, for a total of just under eight dates a month—about the same as you. These days, it’s less about the money and more that my body can’t keep up. If I meet someone new once or twice a month to relieve stress, this pace naturally works out.
◯ Other than my absolute favorites, I don’t actively contact them
→ If the number of women I’m seeing increases, this helps keep the number of dates under control, and relationships can naturally fade away without any arguments. In one case, I contacted her casually after a year, and we started seeing each other again.
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I’m Rula, a UC male member and a member of the new salon.
I understand what you’re saying.
When I first started using dating clubs, I had set a budget for myself. But just like you, I kept finding more and more women I wanted to make offers to. For a while, even after meeting every woman I wanted to see through Universe Club, it still wasn’t enough, so I registered with other clubs and continued making offers. I was running at full capacity for a time（笑）
I eventually realized that I couldn’t keep going like that, so I completely shifted my focus from finding women I wanted a short-term relationship with to finding someone I genuinely wanted a long-term relationship with.
In my case, if I looked for women with the expectation of something short-term—meeting once or twice and enjoying sex—or a more casual, loosely ongoing relationship, such as seeing each other about once a month, I would find myself thinking, “She seems great too!” almost every day.
However, once I started looking for someone with a deeper emotional connection—someone I could continue seeing long term on a monthly arrangement, at around ¥300,000–¥400,000 per month and about once a week—most women naturally fell out of consideration.
If you find one person with that perspective, use about two-thirds of your monthly budget of roughly ¥660,000 for a serious ongoing relationship, and use the remaining third to meet new women on a short-term basis, I think you’ll be able to stay within your budget and find a good balance.
This approach worked well for me, allowing me to enjoy a fulfilling dating life while staying within budget.
I hope this helps.
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I’m Seattle, a male member.
If your safe budget is ¥8 million, keep it within that limit. Rather than going after people indiscriminately, I think it’s more enjoyable to really invest in someone you like. It’s a wonderful feeling when a pretend romance comes even slightly closer to the real thing.
I’m single, so I don’t really have a set budget, but I can usually find someone I like in the Gold class. I’m into curvier women, too.
I’ll spend freely as long as it doesn’t put me in financial trouble—if only to help stimulate the economy. You can’t take your money with you when you’re gone.
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