I’m a male member of UC and the new salon.
The main point, I suppose, is: “Think with your head, not with your lower body.”
In my experience, women who ask for a lump-sum payment immediately after the first meeting often don’t follow through as promised.
Example 1: After our first meeting, she emailed me saying something like, “I’d like you to help with my moving expenses. I’d love to be supported by you, Mr. ●●.” When we met for the second time, I gave her about ¥200,000.
→ After that, she never contacted me again. (We were intimate when we met the second time.)
Example 2: When we met for the second time, she said, “I can’t afford my apartment renewal fee. Could you give me the money all at once?” I gave her about ¥300,000 at our third meeting. After that, her responses became noticeably slower, and I started losing interest. Since meeting her also meant additional expenses for meals and hotels, I thought it would be a waste, so I told her, “I’ll let you keep the ¥300,000, so let’s stop seeing each other.” That ended the relationship.
Example 3: After seeing a woman for about three months—we had met around nine times—she contacted me saying, “I’m having trouble paying my apartment renewal fee. Would it be possible to receive next month’s allowance in advance?” I gave her ¥300,000 upfront. After that, we became even closer, and our relationship has continued on good terms.
Example 4: After seeing a woman for about four months—we had met around ten times—she told me, “I’d like to take English conversation lessons, so I’d appreciate your support.” I gave her ¥300,000 upfront, and we agreed that she would repay it by reducing her regular monthly support by ¥50,000 each month. She paid it all back without any problems, and our relationship remains good. She’s happy that she’s now able to work overseas.
☆When you think about it normally, a woman who asks for a lump-sum payment from someone she’s only recently met is probably someone you need to be a little careful with.
Also, when giving someone a lump sum, you should do so assuming that you may never get it back.
Maezawa from Shacho-shitsu here as well.
Article 90 of Japan’s Civil Code states:
“Any juristic act whose purpose is contrary to public order or morals is void.”
Therefore, even if you pay the allowance upfront and are unable to meet afterward, the contract itself is invalid, so it seems there may be little you can legally do.
That said, the club will get involved as much as possible. We can at least tell the woman that she should either refund the money or meet with you, and we’ll cooperate to the extent we can.
However, as I mentioned earlier, legal action is difficult in these cases.
So I think you should only pay upfront when you genuinely believe the woman is trustworthy—and keep the amount low enough that, if things don’t work out, you can simply think, “I misjudged her.”
Since you trusted this woman, I think it would be best to continue trusting her.
I’m sure she’ll honor her promise and do the right thing.
That said, in this particular case, wouldn’t it have been better to draw up a proper loan agreement and lend her the money?
She can’t repay it?
Well, you’ll be giving her an allowance the next time you meet, or the time after that. Since you’ll be giving her an allowance every time you meet, or every month, she should be able to repay you out of that.
If it’s simply a matter of lending her money, then if she fails to repay it by the agreed deadline, I believe legal action may be possible.
I’m a male member from Seattle.
If it’s around ¥20,000, I’d probably just accept it as a risk and let it go.
But if it were ¥100,000 or so, I might want the site to contact them or issue a warning. That said, aside from outright fraud, are there really many things they can do?
