I’m having sex tonight with the first man I’ve ever had romantic feelings for.
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I’m embarrassed to admit that, until now, my only experiences have been papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and compensated relationships, and I’ve never been in love.
Please tell me if there’s anything I should be careful about when having sex with my boyfriend.
Also, what kind of sex makes a man think, “I could see myself marrying a woman like this”? Is it mainly about being shy or showing a little modesty?
Until now, I’ve always put the other person first, thinking things like, “What can I do to make him feel good?” “Does he like it here?” and “What kind of reactions does he like from a woman?”
In fact, men have told me, “We’re really sexually compatible.”
But I don’t know what sex is supposed to be like when you’re in love.
Of course, I’m also grateful to and respect the papas (male supporters) I’m currently seeing.
I’d really appreciate hearing the opinions of those of you with more experience.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Rather than putting on a performance for him, let him please you and pretend you’re enjoying it. If you really do climax, even better. If your reactions are too subdued, he may think you’re a “dead fish” and find it boring.
Also, if you’re close to being boyfriend and girlfriend, say things like “I really like you” and “That feels so good” a lot. He’ll get excited by hearing you say it.
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I agree with Mac’s opinion, but try to remember how you acted before you started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or compensated dating. I think it’s best to keep things basically like you’re just going along with whatever your partner asks.
> From the second time onward, you can say, “I watched some videos online to learn,” and confidently use what you picked up.
I agree that saying you studied through videos is probably the best approach. It won’t work for the first time, but I think it’s perfectly fine to suddenly get better from the second meeting onward.
> I’ve always put the other person first.
I think it’s the same even with a boyfriend. I don’t think you need to treat romantic relationships separately.
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> What kind of sex makes you think, “I could marry a woman like this”?
Love is blind—that’s how it goes.
Sexual compatibility has nothing to do with getting married.
You get married because you’re already fulfilled and satisfied, regardless of compatibility. Sometimes you only realize what your physical compatibility is like after being married for several years. You may marry the woman you love more than anyone in the world, only to find that someone else is your best match physically—or that your physical compatibility with your wife is also amazing.
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There’s no need to feel ashamed if you lost your virginity through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or compensated dating.
Putting your partner first is a good mindset.
But does the man you’re seeing know about your dating history?
If he thinks you’re inexperienced, your thoughtful approach could actually work against you.
For example, if you’re exceptionally good at oral sex or touch his nipples during intimacy, he might start to suspect something.
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If your H with your papa is “sax,” then you’ll be fine as long as you sax with someone you like, too.
Just because they’re someone you like doesn’t mean you should have sex with them. It’s sax. If you sax, you can’t go wrong.
That’s great news for you. Congratulations! Enjoy being held to your heart’s content.
The only thing I’d say to watch out for is STIs. You can catch one from kissing, giving a blowjob, or going down on your papa, and if you pass it on to your boyfriend, it could turn into a major disaster.
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There’s no such thing as sex that’s suited to romance or sex that’s suited to an allowance-based relationship.
Whether he’s a papa (a male supporter), boyfriend, or spouse, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula.
All that matters is how the other person felt about it afterward.
Personally, I’ve never had sex with someone and thought, “I’d like to marry a girl like her.”
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