I’m having trouble with a low-paying papa (allowance: ¥50,000) who says he’ll buy me a birthday present with a ¥50,000 budget. Isn’t that way too cheap?? LOL
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I don’t want weird accessories from Swarovski, 4°C, or Star Jewelry—the kinds of brands my low-paying papa likes.
For my 22nd birthday, I had a Van Cleef & Arpels necklace worth ¥1.3 million bought for me, and this year I received Harry Winston hoop earrings worth ¥1.8 million.
I’ve also received presents from various other papas.
Why are they so stingy and reluctant to spend when it comes to present budgets?
Well, if the budget were ¥100,000, there are cute designer accessories from Chanel and Dior, so that would be fine. But a ¥50,000 budget is the most awkward!!!!
If the budget is ¥50,000, I’d rather have the cash, but I can’t exactly say that (lol).
Realistically, with ¥50,000, these would be good options:
¥50,000 in cash
A ¥50,000 Amazon gift card
A ¥50,000 stock-up of makeup I use regularly
A ¥50,000 dermatology treatment
But I’m sure my low-paying papa wants to buy me something tangible and see me wearing it....
What should I ask for without hurting his pride while still satisfying his need for validation?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Even if he’s a low-paying papa, I assume you’re seeing him because there are still some benefits, so if it’s something you can get for free, I’d say take it for now and only wear it when you meet that papa.
If that makes him happy, he might increase your allowance in the future.
Everyone has their own way of thinking, but one reason he may be stingy with his gift budget is that he has a set amount he can spend on papa-katsu. If that’s the case, there probably isn’t much you can do to change things.
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A birthday present isn’t something you should automatically expect ₍ᐢ⑅•ᴗ•⑅ᐢ₎♡
When I received a bouquet at our first meeting, I was really touched! Isn’t it more satisfying to buy what you want yourself and treat it as a reward for you?
By the way, I bought the chandelier myself—the one I asked about in the Q&A anonymously instead of using my usual name, “Awaawa” (lol). It was under ¥10,000, and I’m really happy with it ♪
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It might be best to have him get you some high-end department-store cosmetics—or a complete department-store skincare set. You’d be buying them for yourself anyway, so that’s what I’d do.
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If another papa has given you items from brands you love, wouldn’t it be better to simply say thank you and choose something within his budget, rather than listing and comparing what you’ve received from other papas?
You come across as a shallow woman, as though your thinking is completely transparent: “I’m a woman who deserves to receive this much! Don’t be so stingy!”
Please always approach these relationships with gratitude.
Akari
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I think, as you said, your low-paying papa probably wants to buy you something and see you wearing it.
So I’d suggest choosing a piece of jewelry and wearing it every time you go on a date with him. By the way, CHANEL has earrings for around ¥50,000, and I’ve also seen some cute VUITTON earrings for under ¥50,000. It might be worth looking around.
Since it sounds like other people will give you the high jewelry you prefer, I think that’s more than enough. Not every papa will buy you whatever you want, so it may be best to gratefully accept the thought behind his gift.
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I don’t know what you’re imagining, but it seems reasonable to ask for something that 50,000 yen can buy.
I don’t see anything wrong with option ③, a stock-up of makeup products. But if you’re going to bad-mouth a low-paying papa, you might as well not date him.
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I’m Taro, and I turned down a woman I see on a ¥50,000 pay-per-meeting basis when she asked me for a ¥15,000 birthday present. I just didn’t think we were at that stage yet. When I told her, “I’m already giving you money, so buy it with that,” she stopped responding for a while—but we’re meeting again this weekend. I do like her, so I feel things might change if we come to understand each other better.
Regarding your question, if the man brought it up in that kind of situation, I think you should just treat it as a sort of game. Have him buy you an accessory within his budget, wear it on your date, and I’m sure he’d be happy. An Amazon gift card? That’s ridiculous—you’d basically be admitting that you’re just a money-hungry woman. LOL
If acting like a money-hungry woman helped you land a generous (well-paying) supporter, I think you should build on that. Playing around with men who aren’t that kind of customer won’t turn them into generous supporters. On the other hand, if you can’t attract generous supporters, then the low-paying customers you do attract are probably your true level—and you should value them.
Whether you insult even those customers and lose them, ending up with nothing, or maintain your own standards while aiming higher is a matter of strategy. But foolish people let their emotions get the better of them and end up losing everything. That might be you.
Taro
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If you want cash, I think it’s worth trying to ask for it.
You could also try saying something like, “I’d love a cute Chanel or Dior accessory, but they’re usually around ¥100,000.”
As for what to request, I think you first need to consider what you’d like to spend ¥50,000 on. If you want a five-month supply of everyday makeup or a ¥50,000 treatment at a cosmetic dermatology clinic, simply telling him which one you’d prefer seems like it would solve the problem.
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I don’t think she’s being stingy or holding back. She probably feels that pay-per-meeting at ¥50,000 is enough, especially since even women who receive gifts worth over ¥1 million from other papas are still willing to see him on that basis.
If you tell him you like him and don’t need gifts, you can satisfy his need for validation without hurting the self-esteem of a low-paying papa.
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