I have a question about the different types.
I’m attracted to a very wide range of men and I’m good at building romantic chemistry. However, so far, intimacy has always been painful for me, no matter who I’m with, and because I don’t have much experience with intimate relationships, I feel I might put too much of a burden on men and may not get along well with those who prioritize the physical side of things...
Am I simply not the type suited to a dating club? 😢 And if I were to join, which type would be best for me?
Considering your circumstances, I think Type B would be a good fit.
Although most people prioritize an adult relationship (intimate), there are also quite a few people like me who value personality compatibility more than physical compatibility. (Of course, whether someone is your type looks-wise matters too.) So I think you may be able to find someone who suits you.
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If you have a pretty broad type when it comes to men, are good at creating romantic feelings, and have no problem with intimacy, then Type C should be fine. If you’re willing to go with almost anyone, Type D might work too. Even if it was painful or awkward because of your lack of experience, you did become intimate, so they really have no grounds to complain. After that, it’s up to the man to decide.
If it’s bothering you, try telling the men how you feel, like you did in your question. If your partner says it’s okay, then you don’t need to worry about anything. There are plenty of women who have little experience and are awkward at first. But some men will still want to see them again, and things often start to feel more natural after meeting a few times. I think there are quite a lot of men like that.
Taro
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Registering as Type B—or a Type B leaning toward A—is probably your best option.
With that much trauma, you may never completely shake the preconception that sex with men from the club can’t be enjoyable or comfortable. (In reality, you may be more likely to find someone you’re compatible with than a boyfriend or husband.)
Until you meet someone you can really open up to and who understands you, it may be best to go on a series of dinner dates.
If you want to overcome your anxiety about sex, making a reverse offer to someone may be one option.
If you keep missing opportunities because of that wall of rejection, it may become difficult to ever get rid of it completely.
Even so, I don’t think it would cause any major problems in your life. I believe the best thing is not to force yourself.
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Since this is a dating club, physical compatibility is one factor in keeping a relationship going.
If sex is painful, I think it may be because: 1) you’ve been with men who weren’t skilled, 2) you’ve repeatedly had sex without genuine feelings, 3) the man was too large, or 4) you’re naturally more sensitive in that area.
If number 4 applies to you, then honestly, a dating club may not be the right fit.
For now, you could register as a B-type member and see whether things develop beyond the first meeting with men who seem likely to treat you gently. Then, hopefully, you can find someone whose approach is compatible with you.
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