He asked me, “Are you used to me now? Are you okay?” So I answered, “Yes,” just to be polite, but even if you get used to being around someone 20 years older than you, opening your heart to them is a separate matter, right?

Question

He’s a papa (a male supporter) who wants to know everything about me. Even when we kiss, I basically don’t like deep kissing, so I keep my mouth closed, but he still puts his tongue in. He also takes photos of me without asking whenever we’re eating or even during casual moments, then sends them to me every time. As for the photos, I made the mistake of saying, “Thank you for the cute pictures,” the very first time, so now he takes them every time… If I tell him to stop taking photos now, I feel like he’ll get upset. Maybe I’m being too narrow-minded, or maybe I’m just bad at handling these situations… I really admire the female respondents here and want to learn from them.

Answer 1

Even if the other person gets upset, if you don’t say no to things you dislike, it’ll probably become difficult for you going forward. If that ends the relationship, then so be it. I think that’s better than putting up with things. You can still be polite in the way you speak, while being clear that you don’t like something. If something isn’t okay, it isn’t okay. Why not start by expressing your feelings little by little?

Answer 2

If you don’t want to do something, say so. That papa (male supporter) seems to like you quite a lot, so you can safely stand your ground and say, “No, I don’t want to!” at this point.

Answer 3

That’s a separate issue. I think that man sees it the same way, too. All he asked was, “Are you used to me now? Are you okay?”—but she went on and on about opening up and whatnot. No offense, but she sounds like a pretty boring person.

He asked me, “Are you used to me now? Are you okay?” So I answered, “Yes,” just to be polite, but even if you get used to being around someone 20 years older than you, opening your heart to them is a separate matter, right?

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He asked me, “Are you used to me now? Are you okay?” So I answered, “Yes,” just to be polite, but even if you get used to being around someone 20 years older than you, opening your heart to them is a separate matter, right?

3 answers

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