I, Kida, the club’s representative, would also like to respond.
I’m very sorry that our club’s communication has fallen short and caused you disappointment.
First of all, wearing a condom is basic etiquette—it should go without saying.
Although I don’t wear one myself.
I’m thinking of sending the following email to all members:
Subject: Regarding the Use of Contraceptives
Body:
Thank you, as always, for your continued support.
We have received complaints from female members that, when a date with a woman leads to getting into bed, many men do not wear a contraceptive as a matter of course.
The club recognizes that using contraceptives is part of the proper etiquette of an adult relationship (intimate).
We ask that you please avoid violating this basic etiquette without first obtaining the woman’s consent.
Satoshi Kida
Would the above be all right?
After thinking this matter over in my own way, I arrived at only one conclusion:
“Wait, don’t female condoms exist?!”
I searched for them and found some. However, apparently they have already been discontinued in Japan. The other day, I bought the only female condom available on Amazon, which is made in China.
A polyurethane pouch is placed inside the woman, and the man inserts his penis into it. I think it’s an incredibly well-designed and rational structure, but apparently they didn’t sell because they looked unattractive, were difficult to put on, and were expensive…
Still, I wonder whether someone could make a trillion yen by inventing and patenting one that looks good, is easy to put on, and offers highly effective contraception.
It feels like it could be developed with a budget of roughly one hundred-millionth of the funding needed to develop the latest iPhone or a cancer treatment drug. So why has no one made one yet…?
As far as this issue is concerned, I don’t think either the men, the women, or the club are fundamentally at fault.
From a matter of basic courtesy, consent should absolutely be obtained. But the fact that the only way society has to prevent sexually transmitted infections is a condom is, frankly, pretty lame.
Someday, I’ll either develop one myself or invest in its development. Until then, please go on stylish dates without making women say words they shouldn’t have to say: “Please put one on.”
As a columnist and male member, allow me to offer my humble response.
This issue has come up several times before, but I never realized there were so many male members who would try to have sex without a condom without asking first. It’s a serious problem. More than anything, I’m disappointed that the club’s response has been so half-hearted, and that some of its wording makes it sound as though the female members are somehow responsible.
That said, although this may sound contradictory, I strongly encourage you, the person who asked the question, to communicate your wishes before getting into bed in the future. The man’s reaction at that point should be a good litmus test. If his attitude changes noticeably, then he cannot be called a gentleman, and you would be better off ending things with him.
And to all the male members, I have one request: please confirm whether protection will be used before getting into bed. Even if it isn’t what you personally hoped for, respond with a smile, respect her wishes, and enjoy sex more than ever. I’m reminding myself of this as well, but a smile is important. And of course, please hand over the allowance properly, along with a word of thanks. Enduring a little disappointment with grace is part of being a gentleman.
As an aside, let me share a little story.
When I was a student, I worked part-time at a Chinese restaurant. There was a yakuza office nearby, and the boss often came in to eat. We got to know each other and started exchanging a few words. One day, as he was getting up to leave, he handed me 30,000 yen and said, “You work hard, kid. Keep it up for the sake of Japan’s future.” That was a week’s wages, so I wanted to accept it, but the owner was glaring at me from behind him and shaking his head. Reluctantly, I said, “I can’t accept this.”
The boss’s gentle smile disappeared. With a sharp look in his eyes, he barked, “A man can’t take back something he’s already offered!” Then he forcibly pressed the 30,000 yen into my hand. I thought it was pretty cool (laughs).
I’ve never forgotten those words. Whenever I give an allowance to a woman, I silently repeat to myself, “A man can’t take back something he’s already offered.” I know it’s foolish of me. But as I was writing this, it occurred to me that perhaps the women are thinking, “That’s not much.” Wait, really?! Princess Nana! (bursts into tears)
Sorry for the long post.
P.S. I’ll confess for the first time that when the boss took his wallet out of his inner pocket, I caught a glimpse of a handgun.
Maezawa here.
There are also men among the Universe staff who prefer going without a condom.
You can read the response from that time here:
https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/200
Given how many likes it received, I think a lot of people agree with that view.
Leaf’s subsequent opinion also received many likes, so it seems many people also agree with the idea that, at least in the beginning, you should try using condoms while keeping things cool.
There have been repeated news reports about syphilis spreading, so it’s always better to be cautious.
That said, this is a matter of free choice between consenting adults. Women can simply say:
“Please always use a condom. Otherwise, I’m leaving.”
If you’re not comfortable with it, don’t force yourself—just say no. Or leave right then and there. I think that’s perfectly fine.
The club does not get involved in people’s private relationships.
The club isn’t in a position to deny everyone’s individual views. If a man wants to go without a condom, he should find a woman who is comfortable with that. If a woman doesn’t want to, she can refuse.
Nobody is forcing anyone. It’s up to each person.
If someone forced you into it, please fight back. The club will also cooperate as much as possible in cases involving coercion.
(That said, there’s very little we can actually do…)
At present, the club’s warning is simply that you should consider getting a Partners Check.
