I usually get a reply once every two or three days.
They reply quickly the day before and on the day we meet.
Also, should I send a thank-you message after a date? I always do, but sometimes people I’ve gotten comfortable with leave me on read, which makes me think, “Who do they think they are?” Even though I receive an allowance from men, I’m also giving them something in return—my body, my time, and so on—so why should I be ignored? That’s how I feel. With someone like that, I start wondering if I don’t need to send a thank-you message anymore.
I’m Fuu, a columnist.
People on both sides have brought up the issue of slow LINE replies a few times, but it’s hard to say since everyone’s circumstances are different.
For example, if a papa is married, he may not be able to open LINE at home. Likewise, if a female member lives with her boyfriend, she may not be able to check LINE while he’s around.
Even if it’s not an immediate reply, I think it’s perfectly fine for papa-katsu as long as they respond within a day or so and you’re able to make plans for a date.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If he’s a man who’s okay with ending things, I don’t think you need to send him a thank-you LINE message either.
Everyone has their own pace when it comes to replying. Not everyone acts at the same pace as you, the person asking the question.
On the other hand, some women dislike men who reply quickly and send lots of messages.
A mature woman knows how to get used to these things and adjust to her partner.
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer as well.
You’re a woman, right?
I think the reason men are slow to reply is that they’re not used to LINE culture.
They treat it like email. Since LINE shows when a message has been read, they know you can see that they’ve read it, so some people feel that’s enough.
They don’t really have the concept of “read and ignored.” When a woman contacts them, they think “Got it” or “Okay” to themselves, and that’s the end of it. They seem to believe that thought is conveyed to the other person by telepathy.
So rather than thinking they’re ignoring you, you should think that once they’ve read your message, their response has come back to you telepathically.
However, if that stresses you out, you should clearly explain things to him, such as:
“Leaving someone on read is considered rude, so you should at least send a sticker,”
or
“You need to reply.”
He simply doesn’t know, so he’ll start sending some kind of response from next time onward.
The same goes for taking a long time to reply.
Explain that people are expected to reply quickly on LINE, and that when he’s busy, he can at least send a sticker for the time being. You might even want to show him how to buy stickers and recommend some.
> When I’m dealing with someone like that, I start wondering if I even need to send a thank-you message anymore.
I understand how you feel, but since he doesn’t see it as ignoring you, he actually thinks, “She’s a great woman who always sends a proper thank-you message.”
So you should keep doing it. Your evaluation is steadily going up.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’m not a fan of slow replies. That said, papa-katsu isn’t our main job, and we can’t be checking LINE constantly, so as long as it’s not urgent, I try to get back to people within 24 hours.
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I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
Honestly, I’m tired of all the talk about whether someone replies or not, what it means when they do or don’t, and what’s right or wrong（笑）
If you want someone to like you, respond in a way that makes them like you. If you don’t care, then don’t worry about it.
It’s not about what’s right or wrong—it’s simply a matter of choice.
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Staff member Dan will answer as well.
If you reply promptly to messages the day before and on the day of a date, but take two or three days to respond to other messages, it can come across as though you find communicating with them a hassle.
I understand how you feel to some extent, but I think it would be better to see it through and play the part for the money.
As for sending a thank-you message, I believe it leaves a better impression. However, if you’re going to feel hurt when you don’t receive a reply, it may be better not to send one.
Being left on read and receiving a reply after two or three days aren’t exactly the same, but honestly, it seems to me that both of you are doing something similar.
If you want them to continue supporting you for a long time, I think it would be best to hold back your feelings and stay in character.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
I always send a thank-you LINE within 30 minutes after a date.
As some of you may already know, I try to reply as quickly as possible—within 30 seconds if I happen to see the message.
I find myself wondering whether you’re waiting for my reply. If I don’t check my messages for a while, it’s because I’m in a situation where I simply can’t send one.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
> What do you think about someone taking a long time to reply?
> They usually reply once every two or three days.
I don’t really think anything of it, but the relationship naturally becomes more distant. I’ve found that women I ended up continuing to see were never like that.
> Also, should I send a thank-you message after a date?
It’s not a problem if you don’t, but I do have a better impression of women who send one.
> I always send one, but when someone I’ve gotten comfortable with leaves me on read, I can’t help thinking, “Who do you think you are?”
If you’re going to think, “Who do you think you are?” just because I don’t reply, I’d rather you not send one in the first place.
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I’m a male member—and definitely the one who’s getting the short end of the stick.
All the women I see are slow to reply.
It’s rare to hear back within 24 hours, and the more generous (well-paying) ones are even less likely to respond（笑）.
After a date, I’m the one who sends a thank-you message, but thankfully none of them completely leave me on read.
Oh—actually, there is one. My ace girl. She almost never sends a thank-you message; I’m always the one who does it.
But when we’re together, she’s like a goddess—fun and makes me feel amazing. That contrast completely gets to me, and I’m head over heels.
I hardly ever message any of them first. I figure getting messages from some middle-aged guy would just be a hassle for them.
I do reply when they message me, though.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
As long as you reply when necessary, there’s no problem.
For women I meet at least once a week, my reply time varies anywhere from two or three minutes to whenever they message me about wanting to meet again. As long as the message has been read, we both feel reassured. I don’t really think about how long I should wait before replying.
For women I meet once or twice a month, they usually reply right away or within two, three, or four hours. I tend to reply within three or four hours to two or three days.
Given your reply pace, it sounds like you’re replying to someone you wouldn’t mind losing contact with at any time.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
If he says, “I always reply promptly the day before and on the day we meet,” then I don’t think there’s a problem. I understand how irritating it is when someone reads your message and ignores it. You’re putting effort into replying, after all…
I reply almost immediately not only to messages from my papa (male supporters), but also to work emails and the like. Once I’ve seen a message, I usually respond within a minute.
As it happens, my most generous (well-paying) papa believes that people who are slow to respond to important messages—regardless of gender—are often not very competent at their jobs. (I’m sure opinions on that vary.) So I’m glad I made a point of replying quickly, since it helped me earn his trust.
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I’m in Seattle.
I think you’re meeting the bare minimum, so there’s no problem.
That said, the women I actually become close with usually reply within 12 hours. Though I understand some people may not like men who message them a lot.
If a woman goes three days without replying, she drops pretty far down my list of priorities. If I’m only treating her as a friend, it doesn’t really bother me, so I look for someone more important who replies quickly.
Once you get close, being left on read becomes less common. But there’s also nothing wrong with keeping things going casually over the long term with just the bare minimum of communication. I think it really comes down to each person’s style.
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