After experiencing a conventional affair in the past and feeling how unreasonable it was, I eventually found my way to Universe.
I believe the allowance is partly there to help us keep our feelings somewhat separate, and also a form of love from papa (a male supporter), given with my future in mind.
I think the men at the club also want to experience romance and feel needed as men, but they have no intention of breaking up their families. So they want a relationship where both parties understand the arrangement and receive an allowance.
I’m very grateful to have found this club and such a wonderful papa.
Thank you, as always.
Getting to the main point: I imagine many of the female members who answer questions here really love their papas. Doesn’t it ever become painful when you love them too much?
When we’re together, he gives me so much affection and I’m happy, but we aren’t married, and as long as papa has a family, I’ll never be able to marry him.
Marriage isn’t everything.
Even so, I sometimes feel lonely and anxious because there’s a part of our lives that will never overlap.
I tell myself that I’m receiving an allowance and try to clear my mind of such thoughts.
(Conversely, when it was just an affair with no allowance, I had no way to put those feelings aside, and it was painful.)
Still, every now and then, when I see a family walking hand in hand with their child, I feel lonely and think, “Papa and I will never have something like that…”
I saw an answer from someone who said, “I want to spend even one moment longer with papa,” and it made me wonder: if you love someone that much, doesn’t it become impossible to keep things separate, even while receiving an allowance?
I’d like to hear how you sort out your feelings.
Conversely, I imagine the male respondents may also wish for someone to genuinely love only them. If they actually met a woman like that, would they worry that she might pressure them to get married, or that they might become too emotionally involved and start thinking, “Maybe I should divorce my current wife and be with her…”?
Whether you love someone too much or not enough, the balance isn’t right.
“Love in moderation” is what I’m striving for…
Sorry for the lengthy post.
I’m a male member who’s completely smitten.
I’m pretty close to Aya’s way of thinking.
There’s one girl I absolutely adore, and I think—probably—that she treats me with feelings that go beyond simply liking me. Probably. I said probably.
She’s even told me she wants me to marry her someday, despite the fact that I’m already married. I give her a substantial allowance.
She’s so cute that she hardly seems real, and there’s also a considerable age gap between us. So, worried about what I’d do if I ever lost her, I currently have more than ten girls on standby. Among them is one who has genuinely fallen for me at her own request. I don’t give her an allowance.
It’s complicated, isn’t it?
Personally, even if I’m genuinely in love with someone, I still want to give her an allowance. I have plenty of money and don’t spend much on myself, so I honestly can’t help wanting to give it to people. I’ve always loved treating others.
I may not really share the feeling that exchanging money means it can’t be genuine love. Even if my absolute favorite girl told me she didn’t want any money, I’m sure I wouldn’t be happy about it at all.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
If he were a single boyfriend, I suppose some mutual possessiveness might be unavoidable. But my papas are married in the first place, so I don’t want to be possessive at all. It would only leave me feeling empty.
So, to avoid becoming so infatuated that I end up feeling anxious, I make sure I have two or three papas I absolutely adore.
I love them all, but it’s physically impossible to think about all of them 24/7, which helps me keep my peace of mind.
For example, even if I have a huge argument with A, spending some lovey-dovey time with B can be a great change of pace. With a refreshed mindset, I can sincerely apologize to A too, so there are a lot of advantages.
From the outside, people might think, “How can you love two or three people at the same time?” But from my perspective, loving just one person gives you the time to become possessive and anxious. If you love several people at once, you can show each of them the maximum amount of affection without trying to control them… Is that unhealthy?
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I’m Meg, one of the female members.
That answer was mine.
Yes, there are times when it gets so painful that I end up crying.
But I’m a mother and a wife, too. As long as reality is waiting for me, I’ve completely compartmentalized that part of my life.
It’s hard to explain—almost like two parallel worlds that never intersect. If I were younger and single, I think it would have been much more painful.
One person is more than enough for me, and I don’t think I’m capable of handling something as delicate as “just the right amount of love.”
Still, I wonder if things have continued because my papa (a male supporter) makes calm, thoughtful decisions while still caring about me.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
> The allowance may help us keep our feelings somewhat separate, or it may be papa’s way of showing his love while thinking about my future.
There’s also a sense of reassurance in being able to express that every time through something tangible.
It must feel wonderful—not just like a tailwind behind a good connection, but enough to lift you right up into the sky…
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It seems everyone comes into this for different reasons.
My marriage had become pretty complicated and emotionally heavy, so I’m finally free now.
A moderate kind of love would be ideal for me too. It sounds like it could be Universe’s tagline.
The women I meet may think I’m only interested in physical intimacy, but there are times when I’d like to go on other kinds of dates as well…
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I also came to Universe battered and broken from things like affairs, so I don’t have any desire for someone to genuinely fall in love with me and me alone. A fondness that’s not dislike—more like the affection between friends—is just right for me.
Update:
I answered too coolly on reflex, but I’m sorry—I lied. I remembered.
There have been women I was seeing whom I almost told, “I’m getting divorced, so date me!” I’ve also had women I was seeing seriously tell me, “Marry me!” And when one of them told me she was getting married and it turned into what felt like a breakup conversation, I broke down crying. Even though I don’t think, “I want her to genuinely fall in love with me,” I still end up treating women in ways that make them fall for me.
“Just the right amount of love”? That isn’t even love in the first place. Love is salty—humanity, drool, and snot all thrown into the mix. Keeping up appearances matters, but emotions matter just as much. There’s no destination to it, but the feelings are real, and then some all-out, heartbreaking climax arrives. Maybe that’s the kind of relationship I’m looking for.
In short, maybe I prefer things to end after they’ve reached their peak.
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I’m Nana Ayase♡
I love him so much that it hurts. I feel like I’m the only one who truly loves him. Deep down, I wonder if he’s only interested in my body.
That’s right… It makes me so sad that we can’t spend our lives together. Even now, I start crying when I think about it, all alone. I wish we had met when we were both younger. But it’s already too late.
Still, I can’t forget him, and I’m always wondering how I can make myself stop loving him.
If I had lots of other papas (male supporters) through a dating club, would my feelings become easier to bear so I could forget him? What should I do?
Oops, I guess that wasn’t really an answer to your question. I’m sorry.
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That’s really true. But I’m an adult, so I put up with it.
When I was younger, I couldn’t always hold back and sometimes acted selfishly with my older married boyfriend.
I often hear that male members date multiple women so they don’t get too emotionally involved. I also have more than one papa (a male supporter).
I’m not necessarily recommending this to you, but I think it would be painful if you had nothing else to take your mind off things.
Marika
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
That’s a good question. It’s a very difficult one.
If possible, keep it at “I like you” and treat her well. Life is complicated, after all.
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