I still can’t bring myself to like my papa after a year. Since it’s been a year, I feel pretty comfortable when we’re together (though whether I actually enjoy it is another matter), but after I get home, I look back on the day and end up feeling irritated with him. I probably wouldn’t feel that way if the allowance were higher, but he pays only 10,000 yen for an entire day together without an adult relationship... ( ; ; ) I have other papas like that too, but the allowance and my feelings really are proportional.
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It makes me even more irritated when they pay so little yet say things like, “We’re pretty close, right?”
In the end, do they see me as someone they can get cheaply? ( ; ; )
Also, besides my papas, there’s a tall, handsome entrepreneur in his twenties whom I met through a paid drinking event. He’s a few years older than me and gives me 20,000 yen every time we meet. Even if I stayed overnight with him or became intimate with him, the allowance wouldn’t increase, but I don’t feel dissatisfied at all... Honestly, if a papa in his thirties to fifties did that, I think I’d completely lose my temper. If my papas were high-status, handsome men, would I not get irritated even if the allowance were low? The papas I’m seeing are, by their own account, men who weren’t popular in school—far from handsome—and only became able to enjoy this kind of lifestyle after making money. I thought that after seeing someone for a year, I might gradually develop at least some affection for them, but I still don’t like them at all.
I’m Fuu, a columnist.
Yes! Exactly. I wasn’t popular when I was younger, so I’m genuinely happy that money has allowed me to date women who were out of my league back then.
You don’t need to put yourself through something so unpleasant just to date a papa. You should think of him, too.
Break things off with that papa soon. Once you’re gone, he’ll probably make an offer to someone else, so let him go to a female member who doesn’t mind older men.
That way, everyone’s happy.
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I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
You have a very typical female brain.
For women, simply being young and handsome makes a huge difference in how satisfying sex feels.
A young man subconsciously suggests the possibility of conceiving a healthy child, while a handsome man increases the perceived chances of passing on one’s genes. That alone is enough to make sex more pleasurable and satisfying.
Experiments on appearance have also shown that women care more about the opposite sex’s looks than men do, and that they become aroused by them.
So your reaction is perfectly natural.
As for that “unpopular older guy,” he’s paying to go on dates because he can’t attract women. Of course he can’t satisfy you. That’s only to be expected.
The 10,000 yen is probably compensation for enduring the pain of a boring date with an unpopular older man.
And if you don’t think 10,000 yen is fair compensation, just cut him off.
It’s not like you can earn 30,000 yen from just a date, right? Compared with other papa-katsu girls, you’re “unpopular” too, so it can’t really be helped.
If I were you, I’d either think about how to make these “boring dates” more enjoyable—or move on to the next one. One of those would be better.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
That’s a good question.
I think it’s because papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is a relationship centered specifically around money—not an adult relationship (intimate).
First, there’s the relationship itself, and then money comes as a result.
Since it seems like they’re only dating for the money, I find myself thinking, “Why not just end that kind of relationship?”
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I took it as you saying, “I’m such a low-level person, scraping the bottom of the barrel—that if he’s handsome and gives me an allowance, I’ll let him have me and even develop feelings for him.”
If he’s handsome and tall (the fact that you even mention height shows you’re still immature), I’d rather be someone he genuinely values spending time with than be with him for just 20,000 yen—so I don’t understand why you’re comparing that to a papa.
Before complaining nonstop, why don’t you try making an effort to improve yourself in every way?
If you don’t like it, just quit. And if you’re going to talk down to people like that, I assume offers must be flooding in, right?
Akari
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It’s me, It’s Me.
What really caught my attention wasn’t the “10,000 yen for a full-day date without an adult relationship (intimate),” but rather, “I’m paying you less, but we’re close, right?” That’s really crossing the line!
In this situation, the papa should first be saying things like, “I really enjoy our dates together. Thank you for giving me such valuable time,” or “Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like me to do.”
The first thing that should matter is the value of the time you share together. And, giving him the benefit of the doubt, if the two of you had mutually agreed on the amount based on that, it would still be understandable.
But from this papa’s comment, it sounds like the amount comes first. On top of that, I don’t sense even a hint of appreciation for the time he spends with you or for you as a person. The precious time you’re giving this papa isn’t “valuable time” to him—it’s just time he can consume for 10,000 yen. In other words, from his perspective, he looks down on you. Sadly, that’s what it seems like.
I think that’s exactly what’s causing your frustration.
Even if the allowance for a full-day date without an adult relationship (intimate) were temporarily increased, the papa would probably start feeling stressed too, thinking, “Why should I pay more than transportation costs when there’s no adult relationship (intimate)?” Your allowance might increase, but your stress would only continue to go beyond its limit.
So this is a papa who diminishes your value. If you can’t see any value in this papa, I think you should cut ties immediately.
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I’m a male member—and honestly, kind of a loser.
That’s a really good question.
I’ve always felt that women would probably think the same way you do, so I give every woman I’m seeing an allowance that’s higher than the going rate at Universe.
That way, even if they don’t actually like me, they’ll hopefully forgive me by thinking, “He’s a lucky papa who pays well!”
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I’ve had a papa like that too. But after about two years, I stopped seeing him on my own. Maybe it lasted that long because the allowance was fairly decent, but I never got to the point of genuinely loving him…
Anyway, I don’t think this means you’re a “cheap woman.” I think that’s simply the limit of your papa’s financial sense. Maybe you’re not that compatible either.
By the way, you said you’d be fine receiving only ¥20,000 from a handsome sex friend—but wouldn’t it bother you to be with a handsome guy for such a small amount?
That awkward ¥20,000 makes me feel like he’s keeping his distance, as if to say, “You’re nothing but a sex friend.” Wouldn’t it hurt to even have a handsome guy see you as “a woman who sleeps with men for money”?
If it were someone outside papa-katsu, I think I’d be happier not receiving money, but getting gifts or being taken on an extremely luxurious date instead.
Sorry, that’s just my personal opinion.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
“Gaman-katsu” is nothing but an exercise in endurance, so you’re better off quitting.
There’s no point meeting a papa who doesn’t understand the value of money to the woman he’s seeing.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
If you don’t like him, why not simply stop seeing him? Since you seem to have other papas who meet your terms, I don’t understand why you go so far out of your way for this one. Were you a monk in a past life?
Maybe you should ask a taxi driver who happily picks up passengers even for a one-meter ride how they feel about it. In a way, it might give you some perspective.
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Are you an A-type?
Do men not ask you for an adult relationship (intimacy)?
I don’t understand why you’re dating him.
Is this some kind of challenge to see how many years it takes before you fall in love?
Marika
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