I have a doctor papa (a male supporter) whom I met at Universe Club a year ago.
Our arrangement is pay-per-meeting, and we’re intimate for an allowance of 70,000 yen.
We meet two or three times a month, but since he’s a doctor, work often runs late because of COVID, and he cancels at the last minute every month.
This month, we were supposed to meet twice. The first time, he canceled at the last minute because his mother became ill, and the second time, he canceled because work was running late.
Since we weren’t able to meet this month, he transferred the allowance for one meeting, 70,000 yen. To be honest, though, my finances are tight, so I really wanted the 140,000 yen for both meetings.
In a situation like this, should I ask for a higher allowance?
Also, for those in pay-per-meeting arrangements, if your papa cancels at the last minute for his own reasons, do you still receive the full allowance for that meeting? What do you usually do?
I’d appreciate your advice.
I’m Saito, a columnist ♪
Just like everyone else, let’s look for another man.
If you’re not attractive enough to find someone else, that doctor may already have found another wonderful woman.
Quite a few people I know say that precisely because they’re busy, they feel like … doing it …
As an aside, Olympic athletes were under quarantine restrictions right up until recently, and the way they let loose afterward was extraordinary.
(I’m sure the weekly tabloids were already sitting on plenty of stories, waiting for the right moment.)
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They seem to be quite busy, so I think it can’t be helped. You should be grateful that they gave you 70,000 yen, but if that isn’t enough, you’ll probably have to look for someone else.
If they’re expecting exclusivity, it may be difficult unless you arrange a monthly allowance so you still get paid even when you can’t meet.
Marika
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I’m Dai, a male member.
If he’s a doctor dealing with COVID-19, I can imagine he’s extremely busy right now.
So I don’t think he’s canceling at the last minute because he genuinely wants to.
For a pay-per-meeting man to give you a ¥70,000 allowance this month even though you haven’t met is quite unusual.
You’re probably the type of woman who prefers to focus on just one man, but if you choose to do that, you need to understand that this kind of risk comes with it.
If you’re seeing multiple men, you can simply look for someone else.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I hope you can try to understand what he’s going through. A doctor I know who works at a hospital treating COVID patients seems to be under an incredible amount of pressure. He says every day feels like a battlefield. Of course, it would be a different story if he were an internist or a specialist unrelated to COVID.
As for what to do:
1. Tell him honestly that you want to see him, but it’s difficult for you without an allowance.
2. Continue seeing other papas.
The pandemic will eventually settle down, and when you think about the future, it seems like it would be beneficial to maintain your relationship with this doctor papa.
It sounds like you can get 70,000 from him, so how about covering the remaining shortfall with other papas?
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I don’t think that papa truly values you, and it seems like he may be taking you for granted. I think it’s perfectly fine to quietly find another papa and see him at the same time without saying anything.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
If he cancels at the last minute every month, he may be doing so because he suddenly has plans to meet another woman he prioritizes. Unlike women, men who do papa-katsu rarely cancel at the last minute, in my experience.
Meeting two or three times a month also suggests you may not be that high on his list of priorities, so I’d recommend considering your options carefully.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think you should bring it up. I believe compensation like that is something the person who cancels at the last minute should offer on their own, out of consideration.
That said, they do need some hint that you’re barely getting by, so it might be a good idea to say something like, “I’ll be in trouble if we don’t meet at least twice a month.”
If you’re important to them, they may still give you the allowance for both meetings even if they cancel at the last minute. But if they think you’re replaceable, they might not.
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I’m a male member who always seems to come out on the losing end.
When I cancel at the last minute, I apologize by paying two allowances in advance, as long as she comes by to collect them. 😅
That said, girls can also suddenly get their periods on the day and have to cancel a date, right? It ruins the schedule, and I lose the hotel fee, so I feel like it goes both ways. (Of course, I can’t exactly say, “What about my hotel fee?!” 😅)
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