Tips
Aug 24, 2021 00:47
7 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Fuu, a column writer.
This is a question that keeps coming up.
Thank you for being considerate and not wanting to make things awkward.
Ideally, you should bring it up early on, because if you don’t say anything from the start, things can gradually turn into unprotected sex. For example, when discussing the allowance, say, “Please use condoms.”
If you’ve already had unprotected sex, and he cares about maintaining the mood for an adult relationship (intimate), try saying it before anything happens, as soon as you enter the room: “From today on, please use a condom.”
Even if you’re afraid he’ll dislike you or end things, if you’re uncomfortable, not saying anything will only leave you feeling miserable.
If you talk about condoms and he ends things, as long as you’re still receiving offers, move on to the next papa (a male supporter). Not every papa wants to have unprotected sex. Papas can also contract STIs, so those who properly understand the risks will use condoms.
Other
I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist.
I think it’s perfectly fine to simply say, “Please put one on,” but since you want to keep the mood intact, here are a couple of convincing approaches that would really resonate with me if someone said them to me.
① “I bought this because I thought it looked good, so please wear it.”
Buy condoms yourself and say, “I went to the trouble of buying these, so I want you to use them! It’d be a waste not to!” I think that works well.
A pack of 12 condoms costs around 1,000 yen. If you buy something a little unusual—such as a larger size or one with lubricant that gradually warms up at the tip—it gives you an even stronger reason not to use the ones provided by the hotel.
Saying, “I bought them with both of us in mind,” along with, “Since I went to the trouble of buying them,” can be very persuasive.
② “I want your penis hard with a condom on.”
Putting on a condom makes it slightly smaller and harder due to the pressure. Some people are quite sensitive to the difference.
If he knows the condom will make things feel better, he may be willing to put one on.
A similar line that can help is, “I want us to go longer, so put one on and pace yourself. Without it, it’s just a little too intense for me.” But please decide for yourself whether you’d really be comfortable if things lasted longer before using this approach.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here.
I think the reason asking him to use a condom can ruin the mood is that women often bring it up only in the moment.
Some men have the selfish attitude that a woman who doesn’t say anything is consenting—that’s the kind of guy who tries to go without one.
So, as soon as he invites you to have an adult relationship (intimate), or before entering the room, ask something like:
“Will you use a condom?”
That way, the mood won’t turn sour. He’ll simply have to decide whether or not he accepts that condition.
If he promised to use one but then tries to break that promise, I think you have every right to get extremely angry.
You can even say, “I never consented to this, so I’ll report it as rape.”
If a man breaks his promise, there’s no point worrying about keeping the mood pleasant.
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Dai, a male member.
I think it’s best to confirm everything before going to the hotel.
If she asks to go without protection after you get there, even if it makes things awkward, say, “That’s not what we agreed on,” and leave.
Other
I’m Taro, a male member.
Just say it directly: “Please use a condom.” You can even say, “There’s no way I’m doing it without one.” You don’t need to explain why. Saying things like “That’s okay” will only drag the conversation out without any benefit. This isn’t about logic. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it—and that’s enough. Having sex without protection is what’s abnormal.
Men won’t give up if they think they still have a chance. So make it clear that it’s absolutely not happening. Stay calm and don’t let your anger get the better of you when he suggests going without one. On the other hand, there’s no need to be overly considerate. It’s only natural. I think it’s fine to take the attitude that it’s the man who brought up the subject who’s responsible for keeping things from becoming awkward.
In reality, “I’ll be okay with it once we get closer” is fairly common. So you should assume that men hoping for that will always come along. Since you need to stand your ground against them, I think it’s important to make it unmistakably clear when you refuse that it’s absolutely not happening.
Other
I’m Ayase Nana ♡
For some reason, I can’t seem to sleep tonight…
Please make it clear early on that a condom must be used. As men get older, some apparently have trouble staying hard with a condom on. That said, anyone having unprotected sex with multiple partners likely has an STI, so please be careful.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think you should make it clear early on that you absolutely require condoms because you’re afraid of getting pregnant. Anyone who makes the atmosphere awkward over that will probably make excuses and refuse to wear one anyway.