I’m a male member in my 50s. I want to help my girlfriend, who has become sheltered from the world, grow up.
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We’ve been together for six years, from when she was 19 to now, at 25. We have a deep relationship and can honestly say we’re exclusive with each other.
She’s beautiful, and our intimate compatibility is amazing, but lately I’ve been growing weary of how sheltered she is. Compared with most women, she’s clearly out of touch with reality. Of course, I take responsibility for having raised her this way.
An independent woman generally works, earns a salary, and supports herself. But because I provide her with financial support, she can live without working.
In fact, I’ve had her try several part-time jobs so she could gain some experience of the real world, but perhaps because she lacks perseverance, none of them lasted even six months. On top of that, she doesn’t believe she was at fault and blames other people instead. (Though perhaps she simply doesn’t want to admit it…)
Recently, she even started keeping a dog, and she seems increasingly unlikely to go out into the world. She spends her days living with the dog, enjoying her hobbies, playing games, and watching YouTube.
When she was younger, I could overlook her lack of common sense, impatience, selfishness, and immaturity. But lately, I’ve started to find these qualities off-putting. Unless she grows into a more mature woman appropriate for her age, I’m beginning to feel I won’t be able to love her anymore.
Without my support, she wouldn’t be able to get by, and I think she would finally realize how spoiled she has become. However, after six years together, I’m emotionally attached to her. More than anything, I know that she truly loves me, so I don’t want to push her that far.
So I’d like to ask whether there’s any way to help her become even a little more educated, sensible, and mature while maintaining our relationship. I realize that if she becomes too sensible and independent, there’s also a risk that she may leave me, but I’m prepared to accept that if it comes to that.
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
At the end of *Princess Mononoke*, after San says, “I do like Ashitaka. But I can’t forgive the humans,” Ashitaka replies:
“That’s all right. San will live in the forest, and I’ll live in Irontown. We’ll live together. I’ll come to see you—riding Yakul.”
Isn’t taking responsibility not about trying to change someone, but about “living together” with her as she is?
I feel like the meaning of responsibility has been taken far too lightly.
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It’s me.
What is this—was it meant to stir up controversy from the start? ^^;
First of all, I thought the 50-something man lecturing a woman more than two decades younger than him—with a condescending, self-righteous attitude, no less—is the one who’s out of touch with the world.
For men, UC is top-tier entertainment: a chance to experience dreams and magic with money.
So why go out of his way to break the spell and force reality in her face...?
“Education,” “correcting her,” worrying about the risk of her leaving me... I couldn’t care less.
He should just relax a little, show the composure of a mature man, and simply enjoy it, lol.
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If you genuinely feel responsible, then marry her.
If you’re just finding it a hassle, cut things off cleanly.
With her natural resourcefulness, she’ll quickly find another papa (a male supporter) who won’t make her lower her standard of living.
Akari
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’m with Nana on this one!
I also think the Self-Defense Forces would be a good choice. A disciplined lifestyle could help him get his life back on track.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It’s only natural that a woman will become dependent if you give her more allowance than necessary.
If you’re truly confident that she loves you, why not take responsibility and marry her?
As long as you only think about what’s convenient for you, nothing will change.
If you genuinely want to fix the situation, you may have no choice but to push her away, even if she ends up resenting you.
If you can’t support her forever, you need to think about how she can eventually move on from you with a smile.
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Isn’t that simply the kind of person they are?
No matter how much allowance they receive, most people would realize that it won’t last forever. They’d think they need to work, or that spending all day playing games probably isn’t a good idea.
I think it’s fine to let them go if you get tired of dealing with them. They’ll figure something out when they’re in trouble.
Marika
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
Why not have her join the Japan Self-Defense Forces?
And please reduce the support you’re giving her.
If she’s going to laze around and not even do things an elementary school student can do, then there’s no point in her being alive.
Or, make her a sex worker—then she’d be able to support herself.
It seems they treat you well and flatter you at first, too.
Don’t spoil her. You need to be tough as well.
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