I’m a male member. A question after seeing some of the recent posts.
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Do you respondents tend to talk fairly casually about how many people you and the women you’re seeing have dated? I usually dodge the question and don’t give a clear answer if I’m asked, but in the first place, a woman has only asked me once in the past. I feel a little lonely thinking that perhaps they’re not really interested in me. That said, I’ve never asked them either.
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’m pretty open about everything（笑）
The women I meet are open about things too.
The other day, one of them told me, “My period has been irregular and hasn’t come for a while... I’ve only had sex with you, so maybe if we have sex today, it’ll stimulate my female hormones and bring it on...”
Two days later, she messaged me to say that her period had started.
I replied, “I’m glad I could be of help”（笑）
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I definitely wouldn’t tell him… I’m wholeheartedly committed to each relationship as a one-on-one arrangement, and I want him to see that passion as part of who I am. Also, most of my papas say I’m the only one they’re seeing at the moment, so I’ve told them I’d be upset if they met other girls. If they do, I’m sure they’re doing it behind my back.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I tend to speak pretty casually.
I ask my partners about it too, and I feel that the fewer people they’ve dated, the more honestly they answer. (Sometimes they even come to me for advice.)
Since we generally see each other about once a month, it’s mostly just something to talk about when we meet—like asking how things have been going lately.
That said, if I’m seeing a woman who wants to keep her number of partners low, I think it’s probably better not to talk too much about other women.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I adjust to the other person.
I don’t usually talk much about myself, but with one girl I’ve been seeing for three years, our conversations are mostly about her boyfriend. We’re both good at talking without touching on anything too personal, and I also make sure not to press for too many details.
If you’ve found someone you trust and have been seeing them for about a year, you might be able to lightly bring up your own relationship as a feeler. If they seem receptive, they may open up too.
Some girls don’t want to talk about their private lives, so if they react poorly to your feeler, change the subject right away. Don’t force it.
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I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.”
To begin with, even apart from the club, my private life is more mysterious—multiple marriages, the circumstances surrounding them, long-term girlfriends, periods that were almost like bigamy, and even someone filing a non-acceptance request—so the women I see generally have very little interest in the other women I meet through the club.
The women I see once or twice a month, or less, sometimes tell me everything in detail or come to me for advice, so we do talk about it to some extent. But with the women I see more frequently than that, it almost never comes up in conversation.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
No, I don’t talk about it at all. If I’m asked, I just lie and say something like, “You’re the only one I have an adult relationship with.”
It’s all lies.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t bring it up with women who don’t want to hear about it or talk about it, but otherwise, I’m open about it. Usually, during the first date, when we discuss what kind of relationship we’d like to have, I tell them honestly about my other relationships.
That helps women understand that I’m not the type of person to get jealous of other partners, so they’re often more comfortable speaking frankly with me afterward.
I prefer to hear about it because I get to learn interesting sides of women. When I share my own experiences, they become interested in my stories too. And once they understand what kind of person I am, they’ll also take steps to keep the relationship going.
In your case, since you tend to dodge the question instead of answering clearly when asked, I think the women are avoiding asking because of that.
I don’t think there’s one right answer, so you should choose whichever approach feels most comfortable for you.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer this too.
I think it’s normal not to talk about it, but everyone has a different stance.
Some people enjoy sharing their own stories and hearing about the men their partner is seeing.
Personally, I’m also someone who likes hearing about all kinds of things.
But there’s no point in worrying about other people.
It probably doesn’t mean they’re not interested in you, so I don’t think you need to worry about it. You could also try bringing it up yourself.
Just be careful not to ask so much that it makes them uncomfortable.
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