There’s a man who keeps touching my body and caressing me for over an hour. My breasts and private area start to hurt, and my whole body ends up smelling like him. It doesn’t feel good at all—instead, the discomfort is stressful. Since I don’t get aroused or wet, I secretly apply some lubricant beforehand. He’s not a bad person overall, but we’re sexually incompatible.
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How can I ask him to shorten this without making him feel嫌がられずに? If you have any suggestions on how to phrase it, please tell me.
I’m Aya, a female member.
If it were me, I’d gradually stop wanting to see someone like that and drift apart—in other words, say goodbye. Doesn’t it make you sad to feel like you’re selling your body while going through so much pain?
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Basically, I believe you should be clear about anything you don’t like. If they won’t stop, end the relationship.
But there seem to be a lot of questions from people who dislike something but can’t cut ties because of the allowance.
You’re doing your best, which is admirable, but things won’t change unless you speak up, so try saying something. This time, “I want you to put it in already” or “Hurry up and put it in” would probably be the most effective.
Hopefully COVID settles down soon and club events resume. Even people who aren’t getting many offers will have a chance to take the initiative, attend events, and look for a good papa (a male supporter), so hang in there a little longer.
Hopefully, while you’re putting up with this, an offer from another good papa comes along.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
You two are simply far too incompatible.
She doesn’t get excited or feel any desire, while he doesn’t feel fulfilled either...
It would be better to look for someone you can naturally build chemistry with.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Haha（笑）
Another great question, following right on from the previous one.
I’m voting for Akari on this one!
Don’t push yourself—just talk to him calmly.
It may be difficult at first, but try to build a relationship where you can discuss things openly.
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I’m in Seattle.
Say it directly, but in a gentle tone. Flatter him by telling him you want him to become the perfect person.
This works with your husband after marriage, too. If you keep putting up with everything, you might end up married to an emotionally abusive man, so practice beforehand.
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Even if it feels good, that time shouldn’t count, right?
That’s incredibly self-centered.
The fact that similar questions keep coming up probably shows just how many people are putting up with it and going along with their partner...
Because they’re putting up with it, when they see a question they can relate to, they feel compelled to comment.
Some people do stand their ground, but most probably just endure it because they’re getting paid... Maybe that’s why things like this keep happening.
I wish people could learn to say no when they don’t like something, and I wish men would be more considerate too.
I hope everyone tries to have sex with consideration for their partner.
Both sides.
Answer
I’d just tell him, if it were me.
“I’m in pain,” or something—gentle, but direct.
Akari
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
It feels like we keep getting similar questions. Are you an individual running some kind of smear campaign?
If that’s how you feel, I think you should just quit.
Find someone better.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
It’s stressful because you’re not enjoying it at all, right?
I imagine it must be tough to just endure it and wait for the time to pass.
But there’s no way a self-serving request like shortening the time would be accepted without upsetting the man.
You either cut ties with him and move on, or try to approach the relationship with him more positively.
How about improving your technique so you can make him climax through oral sex, or asking him to prepare some adult toys so you can enjoy yourself too?
As for the smell, have him brush his teeth beforehand, and keep some mints like FRISK on hand so you can have them together. Try to find little ways to make it work.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Since “it hurts” probably means a stinging or burning sensation, you could simply say, “It’s starting to hurt,” or “It’s starting to sting.”
If you can’t express your basic needs, dating through a sugar dating club will probably be difficult for you.
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