Did you join the club knowing your friends might find out?
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Honestly, I really don’t want anyone to know. Whenever I’m walking alongside my papa (a male supporter), I’m constantly worried about who might be watching, and sometimes I spot friends nearby and panic.
My friends look down on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and affairs, so I feel like I’d lose them if they found out.
Do you tell your friends that you’re in the club? Are they friends who do papa-katsu too? Do you do papa-katsu with the attitude that you don’t care who finds out?
I know that’s a lot of questions, but I’d appreciate your input.
Maezawa from the CEO’s office here—I’ll answer this one too.
I don’t think many women are comfortable with the possibility of being found out.
I also doubt that many women talk about it with their friends.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I think there are ways to keep things as discreet as possible.
Try finding a papa (a male supporter) who’ll meet you somewhere far from your usual area, places you or your acquaintances often visit, and your general sphere of daily life. It can make a big difference.
There are also quite a few papas who don’t want to be recognized, myself included, so you should choose someone who values discretion.
If you personally look down on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or affairs, though, you’ll only make things harder for yourself. Trust your instincts and don’t do papa-katsu. If you ever come to feel differently, you’re welcome to join this world. Since your values may no longer align with your friends’, you may end up making new friends who are more accepting of papa-katsu and affairs.
If you have a reasonably attractive appearance and consideration for your partner, papa-katsu can give you money, new experiences you haven’t had before, and the chance to have fun.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
As someone mentioned in an earlier answer to a question about friends, I don’t think the relationships you lose because you do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or have an affair are really friendships. They’re probably more like casual acquaintances.
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I’m a male member who goes by Paper Airplane.
During summer vacation, I’ve been going out with my daughter just the two of us more often, and I’ve started wondering—just a little—how it might look to other people...
Something I’ve noticed from my interactions with my favorite girl is this:
At first, she was very particular about where we walked and where we went. But now, she doesn’t seem to care much where we go anymore. She’s even introduced me to her friends... I’d been wondering why.
Then I realized it while having dinner with my daughter and walking around town: No one would think this was papa-katsu, right? Just listening to our conversation, anyone would assume we were parent and child.
And then I thought—wait, my favorite girl’s way of talking to me hasn’t changed at all either. It’s the same equal, slightly bossy—or maybe cheeky—way of talking.
Maybe that’s what it means. I feel like I’ve started to understand that whether someone sees us as relatives, acquaintances, or close business partners, the same dynamic can work in any situation...
Going out with my daughter as if we were on a date helped me realize that.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
First of all, with a dating club, the risks of being identified and contracting an STI are naturally things to be aware of. Some members may not worry too much about them, but I think most people take sufficient precautions because the social consequences of being found out can be significant.
In my case, everything related to my dating-club activities is kept completely confidential. From the people I see to the details of my dates, I prioritize discretion at every step.
I imagine there are many other members at dating clubs who, like me, place a high value on confidentiality. For female members in particular, prioritizing discretion may start with having their profile photos blurred, which means having fewer offers and more limited dating options. However, I believe many male members are looking for that very level of discretion, so I think it’s best to consult with the club and value the relationships you build with the people you meet.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
First of all, you probably need to be prepared for the possibility that your friends may find out to some extent.
I don’t think many people tell friends who look down on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or affairs that they belong to a club.
Some people may take the attitude that they don’t care who finds out, but there are also plenty of men and women who feel otherwise.
Personally, I wouldn’t want acquaintances to find out, so even as a man, I don’t think I’d walk around holding hands in public.
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