I was cut off after arranging money for my favorite girl who was struggling financially.
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I told her I’d help because she was in trouble, and she was happy and thanked me. When I texted her asking her to bring several documents needed to lend her the money—such as a loan agreement and documents showing her family register—to our next date, she replied, “I was happy because I thought you were going to help me, but I’m sorry, I’ll pass after all.” Since then, she’s left my messages unread.
We meet once a month with an allowance of 50,000 yen. I was going to lend her 800,000 yen, with no interest, of course, and have her repay it through the allowance—basically, she would meet me 16 times without receiving an allowance.
I can’t understand what upset her. She was happy when I initially said I’d help, so what do you think I did wrong? Could it be that she lied about being single and is actually married, so she couldn’t provide the documents?
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer this too.
Most people would probably be uncomfortable if they were asked to bring their family registry or similar documents.
For example, a man might say he wants to pay the allowance through his company as wages, so you provide personal information such as your residence certificate. Then he could threaten you by saying, “If you don’t want me to tell your company about what we’ve been doing, pay back all the money I’ve given you.”
I don’t think you’d be able to share that information without feeling afraid.
I suppose it also depends on whether there’s a relationship of trust. But if there is, then those documents shouldn’t be necessary in the first place, which makes the request contradictory.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Of course she’d cut ties with you over a promissory note and family register documents.
If you genuinely don’t understand why she did, that’s surprising. Simply put, she probably felt uncomfortable with you knowing her personal information and trying to bind her with a promissory note.
For an amount around ¥800,000, she can repay it herself after working for a few months, even without relying on you.
If you’re going to help other women with their debts in the future, do it only if you’re prepared not to care if they run off.
They’ve always said that when you lend someone money, you should hand it over intending it as a gift.
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I’m Meg, a female member.
That’s not right, that’s not right!
It’s not about whether he’s single or married—it’s not a job, after all.
> I don’t understand what she doesn’t like about it…
If you could figure that out, things would probably last a long time.
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I’m Ayase Nana♡
You say you were going to help her come up with the money, but didn’t you already hand her 800,000 yen upfront? Wasn’t the contract supposed to be handled the next time you met?
She was probably afraid to share her personal information. Besides, you only meet once a month—why is that? Someone like that hasn’t built a relationship of trust with you. Don’t trust her, or you’ll end up getting hurt.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Is this bait? Well, I’ll bite…
Anyone would walk away—you haven’t even handed it over yet.
If you’re going to do it, hand it over first and make it a slightly rounder amount. That’ll show a little more class and make her less likely to leave.
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Huh?
That sounds like some kind of contract.
It’s basically slavery.
“If I help you come up with the money…”
Then, as compensation, he demands 16 times of intimacy for free and insists she provide her personal information.
Of course she’d run.
Akari
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I’m Taro, a male member.
Maybe she felt uncomfortable with being tied down by having to share personal information or enter into something resembling a contract. She may also have sensed something unsettling—that she could end up being asked for more than the amount she borrowed. If you were also going to exchange something that identified you personally, it might have felt more even.
In that situation, rather than lending her the money, I think it would have been better to suggest a plan where you meet intensively—almost like a training camp—while keeping the pay-per-meeting arrangement intact, and earn 80. I’ve had a similar experience myself. I made a proposal like that, and it worked out well; the relationship continued even longer than that. But the reason it lasted wasn’t the relationship we had when I made the proposal or the proposal itself. It was because something happened during those meetings that brought us closer.
Unless you had already met that woman 30–50 times by then, I’d advise against making that proposal. Meeting 16 times is quite a commitment. On the other hand, if you’d already met that many times and genuinely felt you could meet her 16 more times without getting bored, then it would be more manly to simply give her the money instead of talking about a promissory note. I’d never do that myself, though (lol).
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