I’m the person who asked the previous question.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. Thank you all for taking the time to answer the question and share your thoughts. As everyone has pointed out, the world is complicated. And when you add the relationship between men and women into the mix, things become even harder to make sense of（笑） We need to recognize the reality that we all live in a world like this. Within that reality, how each person chooses to act is ultimately guided by the law, morality, and their own beliefs. It’s still too early to pass judgment on things by saying they’re about “selling” or “buying,” or by worrying about what everyone else is saying. What matters is deciding how you’re going to approach it yourself, fully aware of all those aspects. After all, dating clubs wouldn’t exist if there were no need for people to meet and form relationships through them. I believe they’re something society accepts and has a need for.

I’m Aya, a female member. I’ve never liked prostitution in the first place—I don’t want to go to a hotel with someone unless I like him, and my current papa is practically my boyfriend—so I may be somewhat similar to you. That said, I used to work at a lounge. Back then, I would have dinner with men I didn’t even like (as their companion), drink with them, deal with sexual harassment, and receive taxi money afterward. When I was a student, the idea of receiving gifts or money from any man other than a boyfriend was unthinkable. I even used to think, “How could anyone sell herself like that?” But after I started working for a company, I got used to a society where entertaining older male bosses and business associates in exchange for money was considered normal, and where older men paid simply to talk to young women. Eventually, working at a lounge and doing dinner-only (no intimacy) papa-katsu started to feel natural too. For better or worse, I got used to it… There’s a whole spectrum when it comes to how far someone is willing to leverage her femininity—from not even being able to act coy to win over a boyfriend, all the way to being willing to have sex with anyone as long as she’s paid. How far someone can tolerate going depends on the individual. Do you have a boyfriend? Have you ever dressed up or worked on your appearance to get him to notice you? People who engage in prostitution are simply at a different point on that spectrum from you. In terms of leveraging their femininity, they’re still part of the same continuum. Criticizing them won’t get you anywhere, and as long as we live as women, it’s difficult to escape the male gaze and desire. Being able to decide for yourself how much you’re willing to accept is at least one small consolation.

I’m in Seattle. If you’re okay with staying in the majority, working like a corporate slave and paying off your student loans until your 40s, then that’s fine.

I’m Meg, a female member. The only thing that needs to be hard is my papa’s manhood. I want to be the kind of person who welcomes it gently.

Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here, answering as well. I think I’m beginning to understand which part you mean. > To begin with, I never wanted to have sex with anyone other than my boyfriend or someone I genuinely liked, even if I were paid. That was the key point, wasn’t it? But when you first looked into papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I assume you did so because you wanted money. And perhaps you imagined papa-katsu where you could get paid just for having dinner with someone. In other words, you probably didn’t think it was unreasonable to be paid simply for keeping someone company over a meal. For example, during the recent COVID-19 pandemic, Japan created a new subsidy for parents who had to take time off work to care for their children. Under certain conditions, employees could receive up to ¥8,330 per day through their employers, while freelancers could receive a flat ¥4,100 per day. However, people involved in the “adult entertainment industry” and “food and beverage businesses involving customer hospitality” were excluded, which became a major topic of discussion. That’s because Japan is a country that guarantees equality under the law: “All citizens are equal under the law and there shall be no discrimination in political, economic or social relations because of race, creed, sex, social status or family origin.” Perhaps people in the questioner’s community believe that such people don’t deserve help. But, for example, in businesses involving customer hospitality, employees simply sit beside men and chat with them. They aren’t doing anything sexual. There’s no way it should be considered common sense that it’s acceptable to discriminate against them. Sometimes what people believe is common sense is actually unreasonable. > However, there was no one around me doing it, either in high school or university. Since they knew you strongly disliked papa-katsu, they probably just didn’t tell you, even if they were doing it. Your access to information had simply been cut off. When it comes to understanding the world, it’s advantageous to be exposed to more information. You’re free to decide not to do something and believe that it’s wrong, but if you’ve shut yourself off from information in order to reach that conclusion, there’s also a possibility that your judgment is mistaken. You should learn about many different perspectives and then ask yourself, “What do I really think?” Otherwise, you may end up isolated in the future because your views are far removed from society’s common sense. I think it would be better for you to learn more about various things. You don’t have to do anything you dislike. But if you don’t make an effort to learn about and experience a wider range of things, you may mistake a false sense of common sense for the real thing. In the end, you may discover that you—the person who thought you understood common sense—were actually the most unreasonable person of all. I really think you should learn more about the world. You’re free to choose how you live, but please don’t become the kind of person who discriminates against others for doing something you’ve never even tried. Discrimination isn’t common sense. It’s unreasonable.

I’m Ayase Nana ♡ I feel like your definition of what’s unreasonable is a little narrow… Making loud noises or singing in the middle of the night is unreasonable. Saying, “I hate my neighbor, so I’m going to kill them,” is unreasonable. Mistresses have existed since long ago. I believe the emperor’s concubines were mistresses too. When people meet a few times, they naturally start to develop at least a little affection. It’s not just about H. Speaking from my own interests, going golfing, on outings, to hot springs, or to see historic buildings like Yodoyabashi together are also things a mistress or romantic partner does. I don’t think it’s prostitution. You’re not limited to the people who make you offers—you can choose someone you actually like yourself. Once that happens, money may still be involved, but you start wanting to see them because you genuinely like them. If you don’t want an adult relationship (intimate), why not choose A or B and start with dinner first? Ask people who worked hard to build their companies about their lives and how to succeed in an ordinary career. You might not be able to rely on a pension in the future, so try to learn anything that could help you prepare for retirement.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. I’m not here to criticize your values, but believing that whatever the majority of society considers “common sense” must be correct is simply an assumption. Common sense only produces conventional outcomes. So if you want a conventional future, that’s perfectly fine. But if you want to stand out from the crowd, you have to break away from common sense. To do that, you need the ability to think for yourself and ask, “Is that really true?” Many of the people answering questions here are unconventional enough to come up with their own answers instead of being bound by what most people in society believe. So don’t worry—most men involved with the club don’t necessarily think the way the answerers here do, haha. P.S. Sorry for calling the question-answerers unconventional. I meant it as a compliment—as in, they aren’t bound by conventional thinking.(^^ゞ)

I’m Dai, a male member. “Friends say goodbye after graduation, but student loans stay with you for life.” ⇒ If you say it like that, people are likely to criticize you, but it’s undeniably true. After ten years, there are plenty of friends from school you genuinely stop seeing… As I’ve mentioned somewhere before, “student loans” may sound more positive, but they’re still debt. The reason you don’t really feel that way is probably because you’re still young. For example, a woman I met here told me that she had been considering changing jobs after learning that the receptionist at a regional bank earned only 120,000 yen a month take-home pay—and even after becoming a senior employee in her 40s, only 200,000 yen take-home. You can see how heavy it is to repay even 10,000 yen a month in student loans. In Japan, students aren’t taught much about money, so when you’re young, you may think purpose matters more than income. But after working for a few years, you start wondering whether you can really keep going like this. “I’ve never considered having sex for money with anyone other than my boyfriend or someone I genuinely like.” ⇒ I think that’s perfectly fine. It’s not something you should do against your will, so it’s probably best for you not to get involved in the world of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).

It’s not prostitution, you know. I think it’s perfectly understandable to feel, “I absolutely don’t want to do prostitution.” You’d be dealing with unspecified numbers of people, after all, and there are all kinds of scary risks. I absolutely wouldn’t want that either. At this age, I find that having more people who think, “I want to be cherished,” and, “I want to cherish someone,” brings more happiness. Some people genuinely get involved because they’re really struggling. For those people, I almost want to say: “You chose a dating club instead of turning to prostitution—good for you!” Akari

Was I the one who told the girl who said her papa-katsu had been exposed at university and that she couldn’t go to school anymore to become someone others would envy? I didn’t want to tell her, “You have no choice but to drop out,” because that would affect her educational background. I thought the slander would die down eventually, and that among the people spreading the rumors, there were probably some who were secretly thinking, “I’m doing it too, but I can’t say so.” I believe that if you worry and hide, people will attack you, but if you live confidently and unapologetically, good things will come of it. Also, as an update, I’m still seeing the papa I like. I don’t want to be intimate with someone I don’t even like just to receive money in return. Marika

I’m Paper Airplane, a male member. Even for me, most men and women involved with dating clubs or papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) behave on the surface just like you do, questioner. They may look the same at first glance, but there’s a hidden side that no one around them knows about. Beyond that line lies a world far, far away—with a very high wall to climb just to enter. You simply didn’t feel the need to go that far or set foot inside. Or perhaps your reason and sense of justice won out...

I’m Taro, a male member. It’s misleading to treat everyone involved with a dating club as a prostitute. Legally speaking, prostitution means having sex with unspecified partners in exchange for money. From the perspective of someone who can’t be intimate with a man who isn’t her boyfriend, even for money, I suppose they’d call it prostitution—but it’s a nuanced issue, so I wish people would be a little more careful with their wording. A dating club isn’t the same as prostitution. The rule is that you’re free to turn someone down if you don’t feel attracted to them after meeting. It’s not with an unspecified number of people, either. Of course, most women get involved because they need the money, and even if they say they like someone or think he seems nice, you can’t deny that they may be broadening their usual type. But people who are too crude to understand that subtle balance probably aren’t suited to it. As for the answers that felt off to you, first of all, this site tends to get more attention when questions and answers are phrased in a somewhat inflammatory way, so everyone exaggerates a little. Very few people are geniuses like you, the questioner, who can naturally come up with provocative material—we all work at it until it turns into this（笑）. Another factor may be that, even so, these women are prepared to be intimate with men who aren’t their boyfriends. From that perspective, they may answer with the mindset that things considered major problems by ordinary people don’t seem like problems to them. I do think you’re conservative, but I also think your values are ethically sound. I don’t know whether that way of thinking is still the majority view, but there’s no doubt it’s less common than it was ten years ago. At this rate, it’ll become an endangered species in the near future. Still, it’s the right set of values. Most men at dating clubs feel that way deep down, too. And that’s exactly why they look for women like that at dating clubs. This is called the “pure AV actress paradox.” It’ll be on the test, so make sure you remember it. Anyway, please value your own instincts. I’m sure they’re the right answer for you. And while there’s nothing wrong with asking people with different values about things, be careful with your wording and expressions.