I’m shocked by how careless this man’s behavior was.
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At our first meeting, he handed me a business card from an extremely famous company that everyone knows. But from our second meeting onward, he drove his own car to the hotel. He told me to sit in the back because it would be a problem if someone happened to see me in the passenger seat. (Seriously, why drive to a nearby hotel at all?) When I sat in the back, I found a club bag embroidered with what appeared to be his son’s name and the name of a middle school. I was honestly stunned.
On top of that, although I refused, he said during our adult relationship (intimate), “I’ll give you extra, so let’s do it without protection.” So I cut things off.
Of course, he may have read my profile and decided he could trust me. Even so, is it really normal for someone who works for an extremely famous company to hand over his business card when meeting someone for the first time, then drive around to a nearby hotel in his own car with his family’s personal belongings inside?
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
If he works for an extremely well-known company, he may simply be someone who hands out his business card to everyone he meets because that’s what new employees are expected to do, and he’s just carried on doing it.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
It sounds like you happened to meet a male member like that. If he makes you uncomfortable or you don’t like him, I think it’s perfectly fine to decide to end things.
Even among people who work for famous companies, there are some who commit crimes, in extreme cases. So it’s not as though everyone at a prestigious company has a perfect character.
I don’t know how many offers you’re receiving, but if you set your expectations too high, you may miss out on opportunities to receive an allowance in the first place. I’d suggest calmly considering your own looks and personality, as well as the allowance you want, and thinking carefully about where you’re willing to compromise.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Building a relationship with someone through a dating club can be difficult, can’t it? If you’re too wary, both sides may end up feeling distrustful. But then again, you may wonder whether it’s okay to take things easy and see how it goes.
I completely understand how you feel. I think you have to meet in person, talk about various things, and make an overall judgment.
If you decide that you probably won’t be able to pursue an arrangement with them, I think that’s perfectly fine too.
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I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I’m honestly shocked by how careless the man in your question is. He doesn’t seem to realize that getting involved with a married man who has such poor boundaries can also put the woman at risk.
You made the right call by cutting things off. If the relationship were discovered and his wife sought damages from you, you could end up in a very difficult position.
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My impression is, “Is there really any need to get so worked up about it?”
Everyone I’ve met gave me their business card right at the start and told me plenty about themselves. But they never pried or asked me too many personal questions. It felt more like they wanted to put me at ease and show that they intended to treat our relationship properly.
Rather than getting irritated and thinking, “You’re being too naïve!” I actually appreciated it.
If it bothers you that much, you can simply choose not to pursue the relationship.
Akari
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I’ll answer this as Maezawa from the president’s office.
I feel that men hand over their business cards precisely because they trust the person asking the question.
Perhaps you’d rather date a man who’s so wary that he won’t even tell you his name, but I think there’s nothing wrong with someone who’s willing to tell you who he really is. What exactly is bothering you?
You could say he’s being careless, I suppose, but compared with someone who lies, he seems preferable to me.
That said, I’m not really sure what the point of this question is. Are you saying men shouldn’t give their business cards to women?
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I’m Dai, a male member.
This was a meeting through a club, not an app, right?
Since it was arranged through a club, I imagine they felt reassured that you weren’t someone of completely unknown background.
I’m vague about my occupation when I talk about it, because I don’t want to put myself in a difficult position if anything ever happens.
I think how cautious someone needs to be depends on their circumstances.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
It seems to be a classic way for people in交際クラブ to bond over stories about the “odd people” they’ve met before. Personally, I think it’s in poor taste, so I don’t really join in. And to do that in a place like this, where anyone can see it…
As for the situation in your question, isn’t he simply someone with a low guard? His personal information is completely exposed, so if anything happened, you’d have leverage over him—which could actually be an advantage. Apparently, requests for intimacy without protection are fairly common, so refusing in advance may even have been the considerate thing to do. If you turned him down and that was the end of it, there shouldn’t have been any actual harm, so why cut him off?
On average, offers only come along about as often as a bus in the countryside. And even when one does come, you didn’t choose the person yourself, so you’ll meet all kinds of people. Unless you approach each encounter as a kind of fate and try to find the good in the person you meet, I don’t think you can build a good relationship.
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