Tips
Jul 23, 2021 01:09
8 answers
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m columnist Fuu.
First of all, since you had such an unpleasant experience, make sure to say, “Please use a condom” and “Please practice safe sex” when discussing whether to go to the first-meeting offer room next time.
Posting about it in the Q&A box won’t solve anything, so if you meet any of the papas who went without protection again, contact them by LINE or email beforehand and tell them, “Please use a condom” and “Please practice safe sex.”
This is just speculation, but perhaps they’re taking advantage of you because you look quiet and seem unlikely to speak up.
As for the question, “Why do they do that?”—there are a certain number of male members who want to go without protection. Haven’t you encountered that with boyfriends you’ve dated before? From a man’s perspective, it’s true that it feels so good it can make their reason fly out the window. However, you said that “a lot” of papas go without protection, but “a lot” is pretty vague. Not every papa does it without protection. There are also plenty of papas who understand the risks and won’t do it.
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
This is Maezawa from the president’s office answering as well.
> Why would he do something like that?
Because you didn’t tell him beforehand to use a condom.
In other words, it makes me wonder:
“Why didn’t you say so?”
Your common sense and the other person’s aren’t necessarily the same. That’s why you need to clearly discuss in advance what is and isn’t acceptable.
The same goes for the allowance.
Some people may assume, “I thought they’d obviously give me an allowance, but since nothing was mentioned, I thought this was just a casual relationship. Do I have to pay?”
Please discuss all the terms of the arrangement, including the allowance, before entering into an adult relationship (intimate).
Even couples probably find it difficult to understand each other without saying anything.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think it’s because he’s met several women, including you, who accepted going without protection without saying anything. He’s probably come to assume that women from these clubs will let him have unprotected sex.
Maybe he simply can’t consider the risk of STIs. Either way, it’s important to refuse. If you don’t make your wishes clear, people will take you lightly.
Other
They probably think, “Lucky me—I keep meeting women who let me go without protection without saying anything.”
Marika
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Dai, a male member.
Before going to a hotel, make sure to discuss more than just the allowance—also let him know that you want him to use a condom.
Many men who want to have sex without one probably have never had an STI.
When I was younger, I caught an STI from a sex worker.
It was a very unpleasant experience, so I’ve used condoms every time since then, and I also rarely receive oral sex from women.
Other
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I’m sorry, but you’re also partly at fault for not saying anything. All you had to do was say, “Please put on a condom” before things went any further. If the man still argues, you should make your position clear—say, “If you won’t wear one, I’m leaving,” and start getting dressed.
I say this whenever a similar question comes up: the only person who can protect you is you. Before talking about how badly you were treated as a victim, make sure you’re doing everything you can to protect yourself.
Also, if something like that happens, it’s important to tell the club what actually happened. Share the information so that no other female members have to go through the same thing.
Other
I’m Taro, a male member.
There are all kinds of people out there, so make sure you clearly say no. If things like that keep happening, there may be something in your gestures or body language that makes them think you’re okay with it.
Also, it’s pretty unnatural for someone to try to go in without a condom while saying something like:
“Now, my magnificent member is attempting to make its entrance completely uncovered. Oh! It appears she’s preparing to accept it without resisting! Things are taking quite a turn…”
What is this, a Hiroshi Furutachi commentary?
Other
You should also be sure to say no clearly.
Akari