The man I met here, whom I’m still close with, is the kindest man I’ve ever met. He frequently tells me things like “You’re cute” and “You’re beautiful,” gently pats me, treats me with such warmth, and praises me. Even in our second year, he still treats me the same way. Sometimes I feel so happy and unable to believe it that I almost cry.
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When I wear new clothes, he tells me they really suit me and says things like, “You’d look good in something like this, too.” It feels like he truly means what he says, which makes me incredibly happy and fills me with joy.
On the other hand, my parents have never complimented my appearance or anything else about me. So I still find myself wondering whether he really means it, whether he’s exaggerating or lying, or whether there might be some ulterior motive. To be honest, I struggle to accept his words sincerely, and I hate myself for being this way.
Even though he tells me I’m cute and beautiful so often, I still doubt him. In the end, am I simply unable to feel fulfilled unless my parents praise me?
When I see children in town who seem to be loved and cherished by their families, I find myself looking at them with resentment, and I hate that about myself too.
If I ever had children, I’m only confident that I would treat them the same way my parents treated me, so I’ve decided not to have any.
I sometimes think about what it means to be beautiful on the inside as well. When I applied that idea to myself, I realized that I want to change the part of me that doubts compliments and the part of me that dislikes children above all else.
I would really appreciate any advice.
Until now, I didn’t really care that I felt this way. But meeting the kind man I found here has allowed me to want to change. Thank you.
I’m a male member, BB7.
You hate yourself for being so suspicious.
→ First, don’t dislike yourself for being this way. Accept and acknowledge it.
Recognize that even the parts of yourself you dislike are still part of who you are, and affirm yourself.
Even if you find yourself doubting compliments from the other person, just think lightly:
“Here I go again—haha.”
Then gradually shift your mindset.
It’s important to think, “I need to change because there’s something wrong with me,” but constantly telling yourself you’re hopeless whenever you don’t change is even worse.
It’s better to take things more loosely and not overthink them.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here as well.
> I’ve started wanting to change the fact that I doubt compliments and that I don’t like children.
It’s okay to be skeptical when someone compliments you.
But I think it would be better to approach it as: you may doubt it, but still accept it.
By the way, I believe the man is being sincere.
When he says you’re cute, he doesn’t mean just your appearance—it can also include your gestures, personality, and other qualities.
And that’s what leads him to say you’re cute or beautiful.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I’m with Paper Airplane on this one! I think that’s exactly right.
I personally think I’m extremely handsome, but my parents and my wife have never once called me handsome (涙). Yet sometimes the women I date tell me, “You must have been popular when you were younger.” So while I wonder how much of that is influenced by my allowance, I still get carried away—and when that happens, I open my wallet（笑）
In reality, I think those comments come from the fact that the women really are cute or beautiful, and that the men are also trying to enjoy their time together while showing their appreciation.
Rather than taking every word at face value, I think it feels good to accept it as about 80% true.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
It’s important to gradually experience and build up little moments of happiness and success.
When you can appreciate small joys, you become capable of feeling a great deal of gratitude and inspiration—and of building those feelings up like a mountain.
At the same time, you’ll also experience plenty of failures and unpleasant things. If you focus too strongly on those, you can end up falling into a negative spiral.
Even trusting other people ultimately comes down to whether you can trust yourself.
Whether you can interpret the things that happen in life in a positive way depends on whether you’re able to look back on your experiences positively—or whether you see them as painful and find yourself holding a grudge.
Even if you do hold a grudge,
I believe a day will come when you can let go of everything and forgive.
If possible, I hope a day comes when you can change enough to feel grateful for this world—for the fact that even those painful experiences you once resented helped shape the person you are today.
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