What do you usually do if the chemistry in an adult relationship (intimate) isn’t good the first time?
Other than the intimate aspect, she’s a really wonderful person.
It doesn’t seem like she gets many offers, and apparently mine was her first.
She’s honestly a great girl in every other respect, so I’m torn between the following options.
I’d especially like to hear from female respondents as well.
1. Say nothing, don’t schedule another meeting, and leave her messages on read.
If she asks about meeting again, ignore those messages too.
2. Tell her that we’re not compatible and end things.
3. Try the intimate relationship one more time together and see how it goes.
I’m grateful that she’s been willing to spend time with an older man, and I want to part ways with her as considerately as possible so that my situation doesn’t get in the way of her moving on to the next person.
I’m Meg, a female member.
How kind of you…
The person who received an offer from someone thoughtful enough to consider what happens afterward is truly lucky.
It’s hard to get a sense of someone after just one meeting. If you feel willing to help guide and support her, perhaps it would be best to continue for a little longer and see how things go.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
If I were Fuu, I’d probably give it two more tries—three meetings in total—and see how things go. Both female and male members are nervous the first time. Next time, you could try changing your approach or varying the positions. It might be worth experimenting a bit. Girls with good personalities are hard to find.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here with my answer as well.
I think it depends on whether you expect an adult relationship (intimate) 100% of the time, or whether you’re open to something else too.
If she’s “really a good person aside from the adult relationship” or “a wonderful person outside of the intimate side,” then I think it’s worth continuing to see her.
I can understand not being able to continue if everything outside the adult relationship is just average, but I don’t see the point in cutting off someone who’s genuinely nice and wonderful.
So, regardless of your intimate compatibility, I’d say this is a long-term arrangement.
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I’m Nana Ayase ♡
It would be cruel to leave him waiting while giving him false hope, so if he’s leaving you on read, I’d suggest blocking and deleting him, moving on, and looking for someone else.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
If she’s genuinely lovely aside from the adult relationship (intimate), I’d give her a 3.
I get nervous at first when the woman isn’t used to this kind of thing. Also, the first meeting is usually the most exciting, and people tend to lose interest over time, though occasionally two people become more compatible as they get to know each other. I don’t think you should reach a conclusion after just one meeting.
If she doesn’t get many offers, wouldn’t she be grateful rather than see it as something that prevents her from moving on to the next person?
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This is Kamihikōki, a male member.
If she seems hesitant, I’d either go with option 1 or leave the message unread.
I think you should only meet her if you want to continue seeing her even if you’re not compatible. You’ll probably find someone more compatible.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
In my case, I kept things quiet for three months, thinking it might go a little further. Before I knew it, three years had passed. Even though I still feel it’s not quite enough, neither of us has ended things or been dumped, and we’re enjoying our relationship.
An adult relationship is important, but that’s not all dating is about.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
With option 2, depending on how it’s phrased, you might end up causing women unnecessary anxiety.
So I think it’s either 1 or 3. But ultimately, 3 would just be putting off the issue, so if you want to bring it to a clean end, 1 is the only choice, right?
Thanks for your hard work.
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