Is it morally wrong to use your body to earn money? (Including the sex industry)
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This morning, I suddenly started crying when I imagined myself using a dating club.
I’m an adult.
But my parents don’t have much money either, and if I can earn money by using my body while I’m still young, I’d like to work in the sex industry or use a dating club. I don’t think that’s a wrong way of thinking.
Not everyone is financially comfortable, after all.
But is this generally considered “going downhill”?
Even in my hometown, I can tell which women are doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) just from their vibe. I wonder if they can really be happy.
I want to be happy too.
I’m Taro, a male member.
First of all, women using their bodies to make money is considered the world’s oldest profession—an occupation with a long history. Since the dawn of history, hundreds of millions of women have struggled with that conflict. To make a big deal out of it just because you imagined it for a moment and shed a tear is incredibly shallow.
The tension between satisfying sexual desire and dealing with feelings has always been a timeless theme. Starting with prostitution as a way of satisfying desire, then bars and hostess clubs that charge you without anything happening, the expansion into unusual fetishes, and eventually mistress clubs that target the murky middle ground that’s hard to define—this all developed into dating clubs, which created the kind of marketing we now call papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), didn’t it?
What impressed me when I joined a dating club was when a woman I met told me about her previous papa (a male supporter), saying flatly, “It was a financial relationship, but I really did love him.” She had no reason to be considerate since he wasn’t there to hear it, so I wondered why she would say something like that.
I thought she was going to negotiate the terms, but that wasn’t really the case. Her allowance was probably much lower than what that man had offered. She acknowledged that, but accepted it anyway. Instead, she repeatedly criticized me over things like whether I measured up as a man. I remember feeling strangely fascinated that, for her, those issues mattered much more.
Questioner, you’re still just at the entrance. Rather than acting like you’ve figured everything out and spouting theories, I think you should dive in and explore it more. You’ll come to understand how complex people are, and your own humanity will gain depth too—even if you can’t tell anyone how it happened. If any of this resonates with you, give it a try.
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I’m BB7, a male member.
If you don’t believe your way of thinking is wrong, then it’s the right answer for you.
Other people’s opinions are worth absolutely nothing when it comes to your own life.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Happiness comes from within. Depending on how you approach them, nightlife work and papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) can bring in a lot of money relatively easily.
I think the people who end up “falling” are those whose personalities and emotions become distorted, or who become corrupted by money. Control yourself, set goals—such as reaching a certain amount or quitting by a certain age—and have the willpower to quit decisively when the time comes. Prepare in advance so you can leave cleanly: once you’ve saved a minimum amount, move on to a regular job, get married, or whatever suits you.
I think it’s fine to enjoy yourself every day, whether you’re working in nightlife or doing papa-katsu. You only live once, so enjoy it without regrets. Putting yourself down would only be unfair to yourself.
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I’m Flagmaker, a column writer.
That’s a difficult question. Dating clubs will say that “women have the right to refuse too,” but for women who are genuinely struggling financially, having that right can feel no different from having none at all.
I hope you meet a wonderful male member.
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
I don’t understand why you speak so negatively about dating clubs. You’re looking down on the people who belong to them, aren’t you?
What’s wrong with getting an allowance, enjoying delicious food with a papa (a male supporter), and being lovey-dovey with him? There’s at least some love involved. It’s not like we’ll just accept anyone.
There are people who will truly cherish and love you, too ♡
You can’t eat, dress well, or study without money. You only live once—surely you don’t want to die with a gloomy look on your face, right?
Let’s get beautiful and enjoy life together ♪♪
Why not start by calling to schedule an interview sometime during the day? You can always think it over after the interview, can’t you?
Take that first step. I’ll be waiting for you.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
> Would people generally say that it means you’ve fallen?
Well, if you do what people describe as buying and selling, then perhaps you have fallen（笑）.
I don’t think being in a relationship is generally considered “falling.” You can simply date without buying or selling anything. If someone is willing to be in a relationship with you, I think that’s perfectly fine in itself.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here as well.
> Is it wrong, as a human being, to use your body to earn money?
That’s a difficult question.
For example, baseball players earn money by using their bodies. The same goes for soccer players and most people in professions we call “professional athletes.”
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people earning money through physical labor. But for someone like you, who was raised to believe that earning money by using your body is outrageous, it may trigger feelings of disgust—whether that comes from jealousy or something else.
With sports, even if those feelings arise, they’re probably suppressed because the people around you don’t say such things. With everything else, though, those feelings of disgust may come to the surface.
Then what about people who earn money by using their minds? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that either, but I get the impression that you were probably taught that sort of thing was also improper.
In other words, perhaps you were taught that getting a job at a company and earning a salary is the right way, while anything else is somehow dishonest.
After the war, Japan seems to have encouraged people to believe that saving money and working for a company were the best choices.
As a result, I think many people came to develop negative feelings toward those who don’t follow that path.
It seems foolish to judge people based on how they earn their money. If the money was earned without causing trouble for others, I think it’s all the same.
It might be good to try looking at things from a slightly broader perspective.
…
That’s what I was going to say, but after writing all this and reading it again, it feels like this is less of a question and more of a monologue, doesn’t it?
It’s a question if you look at certain parts of it, but…
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
The person asking this question has misunderstood.
Most people earn money by using their bodies in one way or another. Your mind is part of your body, too. Even office workers use their bodies to do their jobs. If you damage your health, you can’t do most kinds of work.
Also, I don’t think things usually work out if you join a dating club intending to use your body to earn money or to pay for sexual services. A dating club is a place for relationships involving an allowance; it isn’t the nightlife or sex industry.
I think happiness is an extremely difficult subject that people spend their whole lives working toward.
If you’re not comfortable with it, you’re better off not doing it. To me, “falling” means doing something you really don’t want to do.
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If you live in a rural area where word could easily get around, and you think you might regret it, I’d advise against it.
I also wouldn’t do it in my twenties just because I was struggling financially.
Now I’m in my forties and doing it for enjoyment.
I haven’t fallen from grace or anything—probably.
Marika
Oh, and the reason you can’t convert 雰囲気 is that it’s pronounced “fun’iki,” not “fuinki.”
You won’t escape poverty unless you study, too.
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