I’m a teenage female member, and since I usually see men in their late 40s to 50s through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), whenever I talk to men around 25—who are in my dating range—I think, “As expected, just talking to a young man is soothing!” I don’t mind someone even about five years older at all. If anything, they feel young to me. However, men around 25 seem to worry about the age gap with me, who’s five years younger, saying things like, “I’m quite a bit older than you—could you really see me as a romantic prospect…?”
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Since the youngest papa I’ve ever been with was still more than a decade older than me, maybe my sense of age has just become skewed. Normally, do women in their late teens to early twenties consider a man about five years older to feel significantly older? Even in papa-katsu, when a papa is in his 30s, I think, “He’s so young! His skin is so healthy! He hardly has any wrinkles!” Of course, I don’t see them as romantic prospects, though.
I’m Aya, a female member.
When I was a teenager, anyone even five years older seemed like an old man to me. I don’t feel that way anymore, but even at 20, someone who was 25 still seemed noticeably older.
Your perspective may have been skewed by papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but it doesn’t seem to be causing you any problems. I think it’s fine to just keep going as you are.
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When I was 23, he was 29, but he felt so much older than me.
When you’re a teenager, college students seem incredibly grown-up—sometimes even like old men.
Later, when I was 24, I started seeing a 41-year-old, and my sense of age gaps became completely warped.
For the record, he wasn’t my papa (a male supporter); it was an affair.
Marika
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
When I was in high school, one of my female friends was dating a 26-year-old working man. I remember some of the other high school girls being envious, saying, “Dating an older guy sounds nice—he pays for everything, right?” while others said, “But 26 is old enough to be an uncle!” or “That’s way too old!” As all the other respondents have said, even a one- or two-year age gap can feel huge when you’re in your teens or twenties.
As you get older, though, the age gap gradually starts to feel less significant.
Also, once people get older, even those who are the same age can end up looking about ten years apart. Fuu went to a class reunion the other day, and it was hilarious seeing people with protruding bellies or who had completely lost their hair. In reality, women naturally tend to gather around the men who look young（笑） I’m going to work hard on my anti-aging too, so I won’t be disliked by the papa-katsu girls!
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
At that age, a five-year difference feels pretty significant.
Around the time my daughter started high school, she used to say that 18-year-olds were “old ladies” and 25-year-olds were “grandpas and grandmas”...
So what does that make a papa? “A fossil...”
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
The younger you are, the more significant even a one-year age gap can feel—like being one year or two years ahead of someone at school.
Once you enter the workforce, a difference of just one or two years feels almost insignificant. But as a student, it seems perfectly normal to perceive it as a major gap.
So it seems understandable that some 18- or 19-year-old women might see a 25-year-old as considerably older.
You say that being around 25 doesn’t bother you, but that doesn’t mean all teenage girls feel the same way.
For example, some teenage women may consider men in their 30s to be within their dating range, just as you feel differently about that.
Given that some women may even consider men in their 40s or 50s as potential romantic partners, it’s only natural that someone around 25 might worry from the opposite perspective.
That said, asking the other person directly is probably a separate strategy.
I don’t think they’re asking because they’re genuinely worried; perhaps they’re trying to clarify things so they’ll be considered a potential romantic partner.
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