I'm 24. When a guy I'm interested in asked me about my longest relationship and I told him it was a year and a half, he was really surprised that it was so short.

I’m columnist Fuu. Whether a relationship feels long or short depends on the person, and everyone sees it differently. My guess is that the person you’re asking about simply said yours was “short” because they’d been with someone for around three years themselves. (Though I’m not entirely sure.) Maybe they wanted to show off a little and say, “I’m the loyal type—I’ve been in a relationship for three years.” (Lol) So they told you that a year and a half was short. I don’t think there’s any standard number of years for a relationship to last. At a year and a half, you certainly don’t come across as someone who constantly switches partners, so it shouldn’t put you at any particular disadvantage. For the record, Fuu wasn’t exactly popular back then. In high school, my relationships lasted about three months, and it wasn’t until college that one finally lasted a full year. I didn’t understand women’s feelings, and I’d get dumped for trying to act cool in all the wrong ways. Ah, the recklessness of youth.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Looking back on myself and the people around me at that time, there were a few people who had been with the same partner for three or four years, but they were definitely in the minority. Three or four years would mean staying with the same person for almost all of university, from freshman year through graduation, and hardly anyone does that. People that age tend to switch partners frequently, and even when they do date someone for a long time, they usually break up during job hunting or soon after starting work. Even after entering the workforce, dating someone for three or four years in your twenties is relatively long. Given your age, I assume you mean being with someone for three or four years from around age eighteen to twenty. You’re young, so maybe it can’t be helped, but I think that man simply has a narrow perspective. I don’t think it will put you at any particular disadvantage. Even if you tell such a petty lie, the only thing you’ll gain is the hassle of keeping it up, so I wouldn’t recommend lying.

Maezawa from the president’s office will answer this one as well. Whether a relationship lasting a long or short time is considered “long” or “short” depends on the individual. For example, suppose someone says, “The longest I’ve ever dated someone was three months.” Since you’ve dated someone for a year or a year and a half, you might wonder why that person considers three months a long time. You may even think, “Don’t most people date for at least a year?” When you look at it that way, I feel that many people compare it with their own experience. So when someone talks about what’s “normal,” it often isn’t really about what’s normal—it’s about how that particular person feels. > Could having dated someone for a shorter or longer period put me at a disadvantage in the future? If the other person’s sense of what counts as “long-term” differs from yours, they may be surprised. So I suppose it could go from: Being surprised → seeing you at a disadvantage > Should I exaggerate the length of my past relationships, even if that means lying? Rather than outright lying, I think it may be better to draw out how the other person feels and then tailor your answer accordingly. Man: What’s the longest relationship you’ve ever had? Questioner: Hehe, how long do you think it was? Questioner: You seem like someone who’s been in long-term relationships. Man: My longest was five years. Questioner: Oh, I see. Questioner: I’d like to be in a long-term relationship too. Man: So, how long was yours? Questioner: My longest was four years. If you handle it this way, it doesn’t seem too strange. Another option is to simply say, “That’s a secret,” and not answer.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. When we’re young, both people tend to have high expectations of each other, so in my case, relationships didn’t last very long. If you dated for a whole year, I’d say you probably had a fairly good relationship. Also, people who stay together relatively long may either have been with someone who was close to their ideal, or perhaps the relationship was more casual—almost like being friends—without thinking too deeply about it. In any case, relationships between men and women require a certain amount of compromise. I think it comes down to how much each person is willing to put up with.