Good evening.

I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.” Would you say you’re closer to Type C, even within Type B? If so, I think it would be a good idea to decide on the allowance you’re hoping for. You should also be prepared to decline if he can’t meet that amount. I think it’s best to discuss it when you meet in person. Even if you’re closer to Type C, being asked about money over messages can be a bit of a turnoff. From a man’s perspective, the image of a genuinely Type B woman is someone who naturally values the allowance, of course, but more than that, doesn’t want to force herself to be with someone she isn’t compatible with or put up with things just for the allowance. You might want to think again about which of those matters more to you. As men, we also hope to build a long-term, enjoyable relationship and continue giving as much allowance as possible. At the same time, we don’t want the relationship to feel too money-focused. If she’s genuinely Type B, we especially don’t want her to place too much emphasis on the allowance. Since you’ve already had one dinner date, you may be able to judge his generosity from the allowance he gave and the way he behaved. If you can get a sense of that during the next dinner date as well, there may be some benefit to leaving things “up to him” or simply going with the natural flow, especially if you’re considering a long-term relationship. P.S. Riichi, Thank you for all your hard work over the past year. I hope you’ll continue having good experiences. I’ll do my best to stick around without getting cut to pieces. P.P.S. Since you’ve only just registered, and I’ve received many offers from women who had just joined, I’ll share something a little closer to my honest feelings. > Do most people choose love hotels? Except when someone has come from far away, I always use a love hotel. > Would it be rude if I told him I don’t like love hotels? If possible, it’s better not to say that. No woman has ever told me that, and I think it would come across as a rather strong statement. From a man’s perspective, especially when it’s one of the first offers, he wants you to like him—including the allowance he gives you. For men who prefer women who aren’t used to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan): When it comes to an adult relationship (intimate), they would be very happy if things naturally progressed in a pleasant atmosphere with good chemistry, without discussing the allowance. Compared with someone who treats it as purely transactional, the relationship may continue longer, and the allowance may even become more generous—the more he likes you, the more so. When you’ve only just registered, it can be difficult to know how much to ask for. And once you set an amount, it may be hard to receive more than that, which can make the decision even more difficult. If you set the amount too high at first, some men may think, “I don’t mind offering more myself, but I’d rather not have her ask for it.” That could create the risk of missing out on a good relationship. Do you want to earn money through a transactional relationship, or would you prefer papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with as little emotional and physical burden as possible? At this point, you can still take the time to figure out how you really feel.

I’m in Seattle. Riichi, wishing you all the best. Whenever you feel like it, come back anytime—you’re always welcome. We even have a few legendary veterans here who’ve set the precedent. I think it’s perfectly fine for Type B to ask before meeting, too. People talk about the “vibe,” but that’s how you met in the first place. You don’t have to worry about being heard at a love hotel, but if you hate them, it can’t be helped.

Maezawa from the executive office will answer as well. In the case of option B, it can be difficult from the man’s perspective too. I think many men decide whether to invite her on a second date based on the atmosphere at the time. They may discuss the allowance going forward and, depending on how the woman seems to feel, decide whether to invite her on the second date or wait one more time and invite her on the third. That’s the kind of approach a considerate man might take. > Do most people have that conversation on the day, right before it happens? I think that’s often the case. The man may not yet know whether the woman feels she would like to get to know him a little better first, so he may try to find the right timing and place to bring it up. That said, some men may frame it as a discussion about the future—not necessarily that very day—and talk about the allowance and other terms of the arrangement. If the woman gives him signs that she may be comfortable with it that day, the conversation may turn into, “Shall we go somewhere after this today?” There are also men who aren’t that considerate. Some decide from the start that they will invite her on the second date and feel there’s no point worrying about how she feels. In such cases, they may take her to a room without even discussing the allowance. Some won’t say anything even after getting inside, then hand her a low allowance afterward. The woman may later complain to the club, saying something like: “I know I should have said something too, but I never imagined a man at a dating club would offer such a low allowance.” > If the amount isn’t what I was hoping for, would it be rude to turn him down? Not at all. The man will understand that you declined because your desired amounts were different, so he’ll probably find it easier to accept. However, he may still feel frustrated and complain to the club, saying things like, “This woman has a completely unreasonable sense of money.” That’s just venting, so it won’t lower the woman’s rating. But if the man lies and says, “That woman demanded ¥300,000—she’s crazy,” then when another man inquires about her, the club may end up saying something like, “We’ve heard her requested allowance is quite high.” So I think it would be a good idea to send the club some feedback in advance. For example: “I felt our personalities didn’t match, so I deliberately said I wanted an unusually high allowance. I don’t normally ask for that much. I’m sorry if he complains.” Something like that. > Should I ask about it in advance by message? It feels too businesslike, though, so I’m hesitant. Messages can easily cause misunderstandings, so I think it’s better to discuss it directly the next time you meet, while reading the other person’s expression. > Would it be rude if I told him that I don’t want to go to a love hotel? This is something that may be easier to communicate by message. I don’t think many people would consider it rude. Also, telling him this can implicitly suggest that you may be open to a hotel next time, so it might work out well. The only concern is what to do if the man has already made a hotel reservation and then your terms regarding the allowance don’t match. But there’s no point worrying about every possibility. If he invites you somewhere after dinner, I think you can simply confirm the allowance and other terms before deciding.

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. > I have a feeling the second meeting may develop into an arrangement, but neither the allowance nor any other terms came up when we first met or in our messages afterward. Even if you have that feeling, I think it’s best to take things at a comfortable pace until everything is decided. Also, since she seems to be a really good person, one option might be to say, “I’ll leave it up to you.” Why not start with the easier topic of discussing a hotel...?

I’m Kazu, a male member. I used to avoid discussing the allowance for an adult relationship on the first date because I thought women who chose Type B shouldn’t be invited to take things further that soon. Around that time, I would bring it up on the second date instead. Of course, if we couldn’t agree on the allowance, I figured they could simply decline. However, after hearing from a woman who would have been fine with Type C but chose Type B because it was easier to turn someone down that she’d be happy to hear the allowance for an adult relationship discussed on the first date, I started bringing it up then. I’ve never gone to a love hotel with anyone I met through a dating club. Still, everyone has their own way of thinking, so someone might invite you to one. When the subject of an adult relationship comes up, I think it’s fine to say that you’re not comfortable with love hotels. Riichi, thank you for your hard work! And thank you for calling it an excellent answer.

I’m Column Writer Flag Maker. Let’s say, hypothetically, that the man had booked a city hotel for the second date, expecting things to progress into an adult relationship, just as the questioner wanted. In that case, if you turned him down over the allowance terms, he’d be thinking, “What the hell?!” How about trying this approach instead? First, tell him that you’re not comfortable with love hotels. Then, naturally, ask how much allowance he has in mind. When someone says things like, “That feels too businesslike, so I’m not really into it,” it just leaves me confused. I’d rather keep it businesslike—just treat him well and make sure he’s satisfied, haha.