I have a question for the first time.

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. You should accept it as something you can’t really avoid and make the best of the relationship. I used to run something called a “papa-katsu advice clinic,” and the biggest concern people had was not getting any offers. I expected to receive questions like this one, but I never got a single message saying, “I don’t like this kind of papa. What should I do?” Almost all the questions were, “I’m not getting any offers. What should I do?” Not getting offers is the more serious problem. Even if you’re determined to do your best when the next offer comes along, the biggest issue is that offers simply aren’t coming—or are few and far between. I do think it’s a bit much for men to expect a relationship that feels like dating right from the start, but there are quite a few people like that on this site. You have to be willing to compromise to some extent.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s Office, and I’ll answer this as well. My guess is that the man you recently met: - Tried to hold your hand - Said he wanted to see you like a romantic partner If you don’t like holding hands, I think you should simply tell him: “I don’t like holding hands. Even when I had boyfriends, I always turned them down if they tried to hold my hand in public. I’m sorry.” If he said he wants to see you like a romantic couple, you could say something like: “If we go to a hotel together, I think that makes us like a romantic couple, so that’s how I’ll think of us while we’re inside.” It’s perfectly fine to take the position that you’re not comfortable with that outside. You probably won’t meet a perfect man easily, so for now, I think it’s fine to keep seeing him as an option until someone better comes along. Of course, if you feel you can’t put up with it, you don’t have to force yourself to continue seeing him. Just do your best within your limits.

I’m columnist Fuu. I’d suggest continuing the relationship until the next offer. But don’t push yourself—if you feel uncomfortable holding hands outside because people might see you, keep communication and physical distance at your own pace and within your comfort level. If he still wants to continue seeing you, he may accept that distance and stay, or he may end things. Even if he does, your comfort levels simply weren’t a good match, so try not to dwell on it and wait for the next offer. At the beginning, if you adapt too much to a man’s preferred level of closeness, that can become the standard. So I feel the key is not to accommodate him too much. Also, even in a transactional relationship, if the H is good and you satisfy your male partner, the chances of continuing the relationship probably go up. Men don’t want to let go of a woman who satisfies them in that way. Give it your best shot.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Do you have a clear understanding of what that man means by “a relationship like lovers”? I’m the type who doesn’t hold hands, even with someone I’m dating. So for him, “a relationship like lovers” might not include holding hands in public. I think you should first find out what he means by “a relationship like lovers,” and then decide.