I’m a member approaching my fourth renewal and am unsure whether to renew next time.

I’ve met all kinds of people, from Standard to Black. A few arrangements lasted about a year, but I still haven’t met anyone truly special. The other day, I went on a date with a Black, Type C woman and we went to a hotel, but I felt something was off. I’d never felt that way before, but being naked with a woman I’d only known for about two hours—and barely knew at all—didn’t sit right with me. We made plans to meet again, but it wasn’t because of anything she had done. I just felt, personally, that this wasn’t for me. The next day, I stayed over at the home of a woman I’ve been seeing for about four years—someone I met outside this club and unrelated to any app. While showering alone, I realized I was even more aroused than the day before. Even though we meet almost every week and have been intimate countless times, I felt genuinely fulfilled and satisfied that day. At first, I thought maybe it was simply physical compatibility. But with her, it took time for things to develop. I also realized that I had become deeply involved in her life—not just financially, but through her separation and divorce, finding a job, and her relationship with her new boyfriend. That made me realize that, for me, the depth of our involvement may matter more than compatibility alone. Looking back, I think the reason I was able to maintain long-term relationships with some women from this club was because I had played some meaningful role at a turning point in their lives—whether they were virgins or needed advice about sensitive issues at home. In the end, I realized that simply meeting for two hours, being intimate, and enjoying a brief moment of pleasure left me feeling more melancholy than fulfilled. I thought, “I’m done with this.” I may meet someone in the future whom I become deeply involved with, but it seems strange to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) expecting that to happen. So I’m genuinely unsure whether to renew. Honestly, I used to think that at my age, club dates were probably the only way someone would see me. But over the past three years, I’ve developed a deep, non-financial relationship with one woman in her twenties—unrelated to the club—and the twenty-something woman I mentioned earlier, whom I’ve been seeing for four years, has even said that she intends to continue our relationship as before, even if she marries her current boyfriend. So I’m starting to feel that it may be okay to quit. Some people may say I’m using the club incorrectly or thinking about it the wrong way, but I feel that, for me, it’s probably time to move on. I’d appreciate hearing your opinions, whether you think I should renew anyway or encourage me to keep going. Thank you.