I’m having trouble because almost all the papas I meet who want a long-term arrangement seriously want to have unprotected sex. I have a boyfriend, so I’d be in trouble if I caught something, and I’ve told them that.
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Besides, anyone who wants to have unprotected sex through an arrangement like this has probably done it with other girls too, so I’m scared because I don’t know what I might be exposed to.
If I contracted HIV, it wouldn’t be something money could solve.
What can I say that would actually get through to them?
They seriously tell me, “You can do it with me only,” and I don’t know what to do…
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this too.
> What’s the most effective way to respond?
I think something like this would be good:
“If I got AIDS, it wouldn’t be something money could solve anymore.”
Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely not. No way.
Also, I get the impression that many men who want to go without a condom only know about regular condoms.
You could buy and bring ultra-thin condoms, like 0.02 mm or 0.01 mm ones, and put one on for him yourself.
He might grumble, “I can’t do it if there’s a condom,” but once he tries it, he may think, “Huh?”
The best approach, I think, is for you to improve your technique and put it on so smoothly that he doesn’t notice when it happened, making him feel as though he’s having sex without a condom.
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Aizawa from Universe Club here as well.
It sounds like a lack of manners and basic decency...
You could keep turning him down, let him go, or try telling him, “If this continues, negative information may make its way back to the club.”
Sorry these options probably aren’t very effective...
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I’m sorry, but a certain number of guys will insist on going without protection. It’s not just papas—there are plenty of ordinary guys like that too.
Keep refusing firmly.
If they won’t take no for an answer, move on.
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As a male member, here’s my take.
One possible solution might be for the woman to use her skills to make it feel even better than going bare. It depends on why the man wants unprotected sex, but if it’s simply because he wants more pleasure, you could say, “I’ll make it feel even better,” and give it a try.
With a full-body sensual massage using your hands, or by using your mouth, I think it’s definitely possible to make it feel better than sex without any mucous-membrane contact. Practice makes perfect!
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Even after I tell them I have a boyfriend, they say, “Then you should just be with me, right?” Isn’t that ridiculous? I’m left thinking, “It’s not like you’re the only one…”
STIs and AIDS are genuinely frightening. I’ve heard that people in their mid-thirties and younger grew up during a time when the AIDS crisis was making headlines, and that schools began teaching sex education and gender equality—whether or not that was directly related to AIDS.
I’m in my twenties, and we had lessons about the dangers of AIDS and sex education from elementary school. I’ve always believed that contraception was a given. So when I encountered older men who wanted to go without protection through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I was honestly shocked. I thought, “Are people from the Showa era really like this?” Of course, not all of them are, and there are certainly men who understand these things.
In any case, many older men didn’t learn about these issues from elementary school onward, and outdated male-dominated attitudes are still deeply rooted, so I think a lot of them underestimate the STI risks women face.
I don’t think this generation gap can be bridged, so all we can do is cut ties with anyone who refuses to use protection.
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