I previously asked about the ideal papa-katsu connection as a newcomer. Thanks to everyone’s advice, I’ve met five people and am still seeing three of them. One of them is especially wonderful, and I’ve met him by far the most—more than ten times. The other two I’m still seeing are also black-tier members, and I have no complaints at all since we have great conversations and our time together at night is good. But because of how amazing the standout one is, I find myself thinking the others don’t really matter.
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I feel like my standards have gotten a little warped. I’m grateful for this miraculous connection, but it makes me sad to think that the relationship could end someday. I also feel like I’ll probably start expecting other people to live up to this experience and these unrealistic standards.
He’s exactly my type in terms of conversation and looks, he’s a student with a wonderful personality, and our time together at night is intense. More than anything, I can feel genuine affection and emotion from him in the little things he does.
Have any of you ever felt that your standards for the connections you’re looking for here have risen so much that they’ve become a little unrealistic?
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
It really does drive you crazy, doesn’t it?
Maybe in six months or a year, you’ll have reached an even higher level too.
“Wait…what was I doing a year ago?” Maybe one day, you’ll find yourself thinking that…
And more importantly, wouldn’t it be wonderful if your partner felt the same way about you?
In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), a woman’s happiness is a man’s happiness. If your partner feels satisfied, grateful, and as though meeting you was a miracle, she won’t be the one to say goodbye. Let’s not become complacent, and instead savor that happiness every day so things can stay that way.
> In the end, I’ve started to feel that the kind of “emotionally connected,” “adult relationship (intimate)” I’m looking for doesn’t really exist in this world.
That may be an eternal question. There’s also the matter of who expects what from whom.
It starts with us conveying our own feelings of being “emotionally connected.”
But…
Being too deep doesn’t work, being too shallow is even worse, and the middle ground feels too ordinary. So what is it supposed to be? What are we meant to do? You have to observe the other person, understand yourself, and only then can you figure out what you’re able to give. Even so, each of us has something that can truly resonate with someone else.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
The higher the standards of the person asking, the better the encounters become. Are you a student? You’re young and seem like a great person—lucky you.
Even though money is involved, sometimes you can build a deep relationship where you genuinely connect, which is why it’s hard to quit this activity.
I wasn’t popular with women when I was younger, so joining a club allowed me to date young, beautiful women in adult relationships. At first, that alone was enough for me.
Now, three years after joining, I want to build an even better, deeper relationship with my current favorite woman. And if I ever part ways with her, I want to meet someone even better. I’m not obsessed to that extent, but I’ve definitely become more demanding—or maybe just greedier? I keep wanting more and more（笑）
With this kind of activity, I remind myself not to mistake pseudo-romance for real love and develop feelings of possessiveness or jealousy. I also try not to focus all my feelings on one person, so I won’t be overwhelmed by a sense of loss if we part ways.
I’ve experienced saying goodbye to a favorite woman myself, and it was painful. But one good thing about this activity, I think, is that a new offer can help you move on.
When you make an offer with a fresh mindset, you remember the excitement of your very first offer—the thrill of wondering whether you’ll be able to date her, whether she’ll turn you down, and the tension of that little challenge. You realize that those were part of the fun too, and you can enjoy it all over again.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
People are creatures who naturally grow apart. So it’s possible that your current partner may end up seeking the same thing from other women, too.
But since he has plenty of life experience, I feel that if he makes an effort to always be considerate of his partner, he can prevent that from happening.
Maybe once you get through that stage, things will be okay…
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I’ve completely lost it.
I met a woman through a club, and we’re now close friends—no allowance involved. She gave me a massage wearing sexy clothes, with elements of a men’s esthetic salon, and it was so much fun. But honestly, the thrills of our various little battles and mind games are more exciting, and club-style relationships just feel completely unsatisfying now.
On top of that, I’m starting to feel like the kind of “adult relationship” with a genuine emotional connection that I’m looking for simply doesn’t exist. I’m still trying to figure it out.
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That does happen.
Thanks to one particular papa (a male supporter), my standards have gotten pretty skewed too, haha. But I know that the kind of relationship I have with him isn’t something I can expect to find with just anyone, so I don’t look for the same kind of arrangement with other people.
I’m grateful that a connection like this can happen, while also making sure I don’t get too immersed in it. I try to keep myself grounded.
Marika
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I’m with Mac-san!
“Take a look in the mirror!”
That’s a good one（笑）
> Do any of you ever feel that the standards you seek in the relationships you find here have gotten higher—or maybe even that you’ve lost touch with reality?
I do put genuine feeling into the relationships I have, but I’ve never felt that my standards have gotten higher or that I’ve gone off the rails.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve had a very similar experience.
When I first joined, I was mainly hoping to find someone I could meet once or twice a month and be intimate with. I never imagined I’d meet someone as compatible as my current partner. Like the person who asked this question, I also worried that perhaps no other woman would be able to satisfy me anymore.
I still see her once or twice a week, but that doesn’t mean the women I meet once or twice a month no longer matter to me.
Each of the other women has her own appeal that’s different from that of my favorite partner, and I enjoy different things with each of them on our dates. They also have different preferences when it comes to sex, and their oral skills vary too（笑）
That said, compared with when I first joined, I’ve become much more particular about what I look for in a woman. Since my current partner already fulfills me, I’ve also found it harder to feel motivated to make offers to new women.
The other day, I spoke with a staff member at my branch for the first time in a while through the concierge service, where you can discuss things in person. These days, unless a woman really catches my interest, I don’t feel inclined to make an offer and meet her.
In reality, I used to make more than ten offers a month, but now I only make zero to two.
Even so, I still occasionally meet women I want to keep seeing, which makes the whole thing interesting.
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