In this STI question, many respondents gave answers along the lines of, “It’s your own fault for allowing sex without a condom in the first place,” but the poster never said it was without a condom. And even when a condom is used, the risk of infection isn’t zero, right?

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, answering as well. Is this one of those questions that occasionally pops up saying, “I feel sorry for the person who asked this”? I’m not even sure it qualifies as a question in the first place. If you weren’t the original poster, then you’re just speculating about something you don’t actually know happened. What’s the point? Unless you’re the original asker, there’s no meaning in discussing it based on speculation. I wish people would stop doing this.

I’m columnist Fuu. Rather than calling it “reaping what you sow,” I’d say it’s basically a matter of personal responsibility. Regardless of whether you’re involved with a dating club, there’s always a possibility of getting an STI when two adults become intimate. They’re caused by viruses, after all. You can’t know who you caught it from. Since both people are consenting adults, they should consider each other’s well-being and deal with it responsibly. Basically, each person is responsible for getting treatment. You should tell your partner right away and have them get tested and treated as well. That’s how I think it should be handled. You wouldn’t say—or couldn’t say—“You gave me COVID, so pay my medical expenses,” right? It’s the same thing. With this kind of activity, both male and female members are likely to have relationships with multiple people, so the risk of contracting an STI is higher. If you feel that the increased risk of getting an STI isn’t worth the money you can earn, you’ll probably be happier if you stop doing this.

I’m Flagmaker, a columnist. I reread the question from the beginning. I once caught an STI from a woman I met through a club—while using a condom, of course. I got tested, took a photo of the positive result, and sent it to her. I didn’t complain at all; if anything, I apologized to her and encouraged her to get tested too. A few weeks later, I took another test and sent her a photo showing that I was negative. But her response was strangely casual, and I couldn’t even tell whether she had gone to get tested. Then, after I told her I was negative, she invited me out again. It made me feel sick, so I blocked her immediately. That’s why I feel I can understand the questioner’s feelings to some extent. Excuse my bluntness, but I was furious with that woman, including the way she handled my report, and I found it genuinely disgusting that she infected me and showed no remorse. On top of that, getting an STI caused me to miss an important date.（笑） The difference, even though I share those feelings, is that I don’t think it’s realistic to get treatment costs from someone you’re about to cut ties with. In the situation described in the previous question, realistically, the only way to recover the treatment costs would be to avoid blaming the other person, continue the relationship, and get money from them under some other pretext rather than calling it reimbursement for medical expenses. You would never knowingly provide funds to the enemy or their army. You make them think you’re an ally, let their guard down, draw as much money from them as possible, and then poison them. It’s a clichéd revenge tactic in dramas.

I’m Date◎Yume, a male member. I don’t think people in dating clubs have that many partners, but they’re still always at risk of STIs. There’s no particular need to worry about infections that can be cured, but some STIs are incurable, so you need to be careful. To answer your question: as has been said many times in this Q&A forum, you need objective proof that you were infected by the other person. If you can establish that, you can take the matter to court. In this case, I believe both parties should respond based on a sincere agreement, but since that doesn’t seem possible, the most important thing for now is for both of you to focus on treatment. I think each person will have to cover their own medical expenses. Also, to prevent the infection from spreading further, you should report the male partner to the club. As for resuming activities at the dating club, both the club and the people making offers will feel more comfortable if you provide proof of a negative test after you’ve fully recovered.

I’m Kazu, a male member. > The questioner never said they had sex without a condom, and even with a condom, the risk of infection isn’t zero, right? > There’s also a possibility they were infected through oral sex, isn’t there? That’s true. They didn’t say whether a condom was used or whether the infection was transmitted to their throat. I can’t help wondering why questions about being infected with this kind of STI never mention whether a condom was used. > The question was asking about “the appropriate response after being infected with an STI,” yet the answers were mostly condescending assumptions and irrelevant opinions. I felt sorry for the questioner. Was I being condescending? I’d appreciate it if you could tell me which part came across that way, so I can take it into consideration. As for making assumptions, the question omitted an important detail—whether a condom was used—so I answered on the assumption that no condom was used, since that carries a higher risk of STI transmission. The second-to-last line of the question said, “What should be done to prevent other women from suffering the same kind of harm in the future?” That isn’t asking about “the appropriate response after being infected with an STI,” is it? If it had said, “What should I do?” I might have understood that they wanted to know “the appropriate response when you can no longer contact the person you suspect infected you with an STI.” But even then, it still wouldn’t be asking about “the appropriate response after being infected with an STI.” > Are all of you people who have infected someone with an STI yourselves? I probably haven’t infected anyone. > Is that why you’re all being unnecessarily cynical? Isn’t that another assumption?（笑）